Miscellaneous: You dolt!

You dolt!

By ilovefootball - 07/09/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 196

You deserved it 78 192

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Same thing different taste

By Lackadaisical - 15/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 238

You deserved it 35 652

By Imwalkinghere - 04/11/2016 01:26 - United States

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 053

You deserved it 695

By Anonymous - 20/07/2010 10:12 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 897

You deserved it 49 677

By Biggie - 12/05/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 821

You deserved it 12 940

Dingus

By Anonymous - 26/06/2010 13:24 - Tanzania United Republic of

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 807

You deserved it 66 033

Hey there!

By Chanby - 04/05/2023 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a friend I hadn't seen in years. I was so excited to catch up with her that I ran across the street without looking and almost got hit by a car. I ended up stumbling out of panic and landed on a pile of trash on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 1 036

Classic scam

By Anonymous - 01/07/2017 06:00 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 240

You deserved it 307

By prettyinpurple - 10/02/2009 04:54 - United States

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 943

You deserved it 56 311

Play it cool

By NathanPlays - 23/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 102

You deserved it 20 256

Bystander

By Chops - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 319

You deserved it 4 523

fxdxhk90 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:17

So..... what are the police charging you with?

dcstream 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:19

This needs to be illustrated.

Comments

meezer008 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 0:52

omg thats the funniest thing i ever heard! XD thats horrible about her getting hurt but come on guy, epic fail

circashoes 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 6:17

Haha nice

lissa_1989 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 7:33

I agree with just about everyone..... 1) Idiot. 2) Things don't always work in the movies. 3) You should be in jail right now. 4) This is not a fml moment. 5) EPIC FAIL!!!! 6) Strong possiblity of being FAKE. So, quit bitching about something you could have controlled. -OR- Stop lying to everyone for attention. How about that OP?

iceman219 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:28

Fake story. You can't "accidentally" push her into a ******* car

Levixxrock 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:46

ahahaha im LMAO. ahaha i can imagine that.

LiLOnE 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 2:13

such a dumbfuck

Hockeylover87_71 0

Friday 11 September 2009 5:42

epic win!

chrismace 11

Friday 11 September 2009 7:48

You pushed her in front of a car? How do you accidentally push someone in front of a car???

Crazyging 0

Friday 11 September 2009 21:13

basic motor skills FTW

Resistance2 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 21:11

Stupid ****, I hope she sued your ass

JustMaybe 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 17:44

spot the american

Emma_91 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 22:34

Well the OP is American...

strawberryspacejam 11

Monday 14 September 2009 1:38

Shut up you two, I bet your British shitbags

lissa_1989 0

Monday 14 September 2009 6:37

Ok. That's ****** up. I'm American. We aren't all bad ppl. I have to admit some of them are very ******* stupid. But come on... Don't judge ppl by the country they live in. That's wrong.