Drugs and Miscellaneous: You hypocrite - FML

You hypocrite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 062

You deserved it 6 554

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Check yourself

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 23:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 523

You deserved it 3 870

By EgoMoose - 28/12/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 434

You deserved it 5 793

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 417

You deserved it 2 464

By imobesejk - 17/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 202

You deserved it 2 822

By the only sober one - 15/05/2013 06:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 934

You deserved it 2 804

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 656

You deserved it 1 584

Hip cats

By :(( - 24/06/2012 21:45 - United States - Montevideo

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 065

You deserved it 50 985

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 816

You deserved it 9 725

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

By Dumbweed - 28/08/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 256

You deserved it 67 735

By shanson - 07/11/2016 14:06 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 756

You deserved it 834

Next

Top comments

chingthecreator 4

Wednesday 28 September 2011 18:52

She's a boss.

yamatelle 19

Wednesday 28 September 2011 18:54

I hate to say it, but your mom is ******* awesome!

Comments

scottgeo 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 19:52

At least she wont get picked up for DUI or wreck her car. If your going to get ****** up do it at home.

codymaas01 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 19:59

Your mom is a ******* bad ass

ChristinaAAR 14

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:00

Ahh, the irony :)

duscks57 5

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:04

Smoke that weed with her

duscks57 5

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:04

Smoke that weed with her

immortal628 20

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:20

You guys talk about what a cool mom she must be, but I know how this shit really goes. I get the same kinda shit at home. "Do as I say, not as I do" is not very good parenting.

chujel1302 1

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:20

Did she offer to share?

alaskanhybrid 5

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:22

Why do you wast money at bars knowing they rip you off. Liquor stores cheaper ftw.

pfx2_fml 15

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:23

I'll trade you moms

liamcumby 4

Wednesday 28 September 2011 20:27

I dont even think ur life sux, its just funny

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 852

You deserved it 1 042

Today, I found out that my grandson is actually my stepson, my son is his half-brother, and my soon to be ex-husband impregnated our son’s wife, who’s a third his age. Yet somehow my slimy ex is the victim in all this because our son beat him to a bloody pulp while I did nothing to stop it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 92

The Top

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 654

You deserved it 2 747

Today, I got fired because I abruptly hung up on my boss while being pulled over for talking in a hands free zone. I also got a $300 fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 770

You deserved it 2 166

Today, after playing in an online casino, I won £200. Being pretty tight for cash at the moment I was pretty excited. I then tried to withdraw it to be told that I can't have a penny of it because I didn't register my card details first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 147

You deserved it 41 899

Today, I've hated being a parent ever since I was baby-trapped at 17, but I stuck through it and never let my son suspect how I really felt, and we have a great relationship now he’s an adult. Well he just moved out yesterday, and today my wife told me she’s pregnant. Here we fucking go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 1 218

Today, my teenage son informed me that when he’s too lazy to walk to the bathroom, he uses the kitchen sink as a toilet. I use that sink every day to wash vegetables for my family's dinner. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 126

You deserved it 336

Today at university, I saw a girl on crutches struggling to make it up the stairs to the dining center. Feeling sympathetic, I politely offered to help her with her bags, and she declined. By declined, I mean she maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 945

You deserved it 191