Embarrassing, Drunk and Health: You played yourself - FML

You played yourself

By anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 68 674

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 437

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 590

By Anonymous - 09/12/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 633

You deserved it 3 874

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 8 844

Worst party ever

By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 4 037

By HeadStillHurts - 26/10/2016 11:43

Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 678

You deserved it 8 820

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 411

By Grant Williams - 07/05/2019 17:37

Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 812

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 40 133

Joe Smooth move

By Karel - 24/09/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 345

Next

Top comments

Tpracingkg 15

Monday 25 March 2013 23:06

Darwinism

theherd 4

Monday 25 March 2013 23:05

Bye children!

Comments

alwayswinning123 7

Monday 25 March 2013 23:09

You sir are a moron

Cheeley 17

Monday 25 March 2013 23:10

Not so funny now is it?

BlueMoonCafe 12

Monday 25 March 2013 23:10

I don't understand how this could be anything other than a "YDI."

cosmosis 12

Tuesday 26 March 2013 10:23

When your a moron like OP. Your life is truly ******!! Whats more surprising is that he survived long enough to learn what a taser is and how to use it. Well done OP. You sir are a *******.

MidnightOne 3

Monday 25 March 2013 23:12

Stupidity *should* be painful.

jgriff79 23

Tuesday 26 March 2013 4:05

Can't fix stupid!

Joe9024 20

Tuesday 26 March 2013 9:13

Not even with duct tape..

DasHaas 9

Monday 25 March 2013 23:13

That's what you get when you get "so drunk".

error404n0tf0und 21

Monday 25 March 2013 23:14

you sir, know how to party!

Joe9024 20

Tuesday 26 March 2013 13:40

I can usually party hardy without getting a taser to the testes, but that's just me

buddy51 23

Monday 25 March 2013 23:15

OP- Please, for the love of humanity, understand how VERY FUNNY it is for all your friends to see you taser your balls!! Repeatedly!!! Go for it!!

DudeEvil 22

Monday 25 March 2013 23:16

You think that's bad, OP? Wait till you see yourself on youtube. *fingers crossed*

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Tuesday 26 March 2013 0:57

Should probably cross dicks too, just to be safe.

friedchickenpie 14

Monday 25 March 2013 23:18

Go home, OP, you're drunk

LennyComa 39

Monday 25 March 2013 23:19

I recommend, If your balls can even still function, not reproducing as your genes are defective and the future doesn't want them

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 1 354

The Top

Today, I watched on camera as my son tried to light a bonfire and set fire to my shed. Props to him, he ran to get my mini fire extinguisher from the car, but he pulled the pin then THREW THE EXTINGUISHER INTO THE FIRE. The dumb SOB thought mini extinguishers worked like grenades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 160

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 895

You deserved it 3 010

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesn't know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 262

You deserved it 5 694

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 794

You deserved it 9 538

Today, a guy at work was ranking the girls we work with in the order he'd want to date them. He told me I was 6th "because personality is important, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 096

You deserved it 5 431

Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 329

You deserved it 2 879