Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Yummy

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 128

You deserved it 10 618

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Same thing different taste

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 891

You deserved it 8 333

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 231

You deserved it 450

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 066

You deserved it 5 184

Wandering

By kmyltd - 14/09/2016 06:18 - Australia - Mount Eliza

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 887

You deserved it 3 619

The Conquest of Bread

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 264

By Anonymous - 08/08/2011 14:29 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 714

You deserved it 4 479

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 121

You deserved it 5 250

By Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 192

You deserved it 8 336

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 595

You deserved it 5 731

empbob 20

Thursday 27 February 2014 0:08

I'm sorry, it sucks that your boyfriends penis is small enough to fit thru a donut...

evanobrien 14

Thursday 27 February 2014 0:06

What kind of donut?????

Comments

saxybandgeek 14

Thursday 27 February 2014 4:00

Reading too much Cosmo I see

trueblue1010 12

Thursday 27 February 2014 4:02

I guess he read Cosmopolitan?

Tessa_11 19

Thursday 27 February 2014 4:06

Hahaha that sounds fun. I love doughnuts..

myeviltwin 20

Thursday 27 February 2014 6:14

@92 If you are 18 (or older) you can come to my house for doughnuts anytime. jk :P Had to say it though (come on someone had to).

myeviltwin 20

Friday 28 February 2014 2:31

Seriously people 4 down votes for a corny joke?

squideth 18

Friday 28 February 2014 4:52

That's not a corny joke, that's a creepy comment to a stranger on the internet. Pretty pathetic.

mattrd_fml 31

Thursday 27 February 2014 4:16

I'd eat if off my partner's...

CooperRage 13

Thursday 27 February 2014 4:20

You should've been like "There's DONUTS?!?" And ran and found the box and happily devoured the rest of them.

SilentCat 22

Friday 28 February 2014 13:58

I love you :D

yourwifelovesme 25

Thursday 27 February 2014 4:20

boston cream?

elizacandle 29

Thursday 27 February 2014 4:26

someone needs to look up foreplay

SrgntSprnkls77 15

Thursday 27 February 2014 4:29

"Accidentally" bite his dick and miss the donut

FlyingPie 17

Thursday 27 February 2014 4:29

That's a dick move.

tuffer 3

Thursday 27 February 2014 4:30

the magics in the hole!

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 057

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

The Top

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 068

You deserved it 71 984

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 742

You deserved it 10 848

Today, I'm the designated driver for a Christmas party I wasn't even invited to. Not only do I get to watch people have a good time, but I'm also supposed to not get involved in the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 393

You deserved it 816

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 802

You deserved it 3 906

Today, at our wedding, my groomsmen had a lightsaber fight on the dance floor. Everyone was laughing and the kids loved it. My wife burst into tears, started screaming that we ruined her fairytale wedding, and stormed out. Our entire relationship started when we met at the cinema when Star Wars was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 152

Today, I broke up with my fiancé after he cheated on me, and he now refuses to move out of the apartment. I'm even contemplating just offering him my Xbox One as a bribe so I can get him out of my life for good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 062

You deserved it 1 288