Health: Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was...

By feels like an asshole - 09/06/2015 20:03 - United States

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 334

You deserved it 3 211

Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…

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Same thing different taste

By laundry day again... - 08/09/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 733

You deserved it 3 539

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 963

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 2 040

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 3 372

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 372

You deserved it 6 205

Spooked

By Anonymous - 10/11/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 878

You deserved it 4 126

Stained

By Anonymous - 06/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 207

By RightInTheFace - 12/09/2015 16:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 580

You deserved it 1 904

Stage 1?

By Waterfalls - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 606

You deserved it 10 853

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 136

You deserved it 630

rnarshmallow 21

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:06

At least your girlfriend knows you are willing to pee on her when she asks.

thecouchisalive 20

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:07

That's a very wet dream

Comments

rnarshmallow 21

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:06

At least your girlfriend knows you are willing to pee on her when she asks.

Amama_fml 30

Wednesday 10 June 2015 18:31

At least it wasn't his girlfriend he peed on.

pyrexicpoet 18

Wednesday 10 June 2015 21:27

Plot twist: his dog is his girlfriend

thecouchisalive 20

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:07

That's a very wet dream

pyrexicpoet 18

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:08

What's that wet dog smell?

WhoopteDo 26

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:09

Are you fureal man?! I'd be pissed if you did that to me. And I know girls like getting wet but I think you really need to get your mind out of the sewers.. FY Dog's life. At least you didn't dream she wanted your to shit on her...

VeganDarkLight 31

Wednesday 10 June 2015 11:58

It's a fetish called Urophilia. It's alright if you don't want to be pissed on (it wouldn't be called a fetish if a lot of people practised it), but there's no need to push your views on others. As long as both (or more) partners participating like it, it doesn't harm anyone so just let them have fun!

tormcn 26

Wednesday 10 June 2015 17:21

I don't think the dog had fun.

wchil 14

Wednesday 10 June 2015 18:02

yea deff not the dogs fetish

ohjoy15 33

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:09

That poor dog oh my God. Couldn't have done anything to deserve that.

riffehunter 16

Thursday 11 June 2015 7:44

no wonder it ran away

SweetasCandy0609 28

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:10

it's sounds like Ambien that stuff naked you do pretty loopy stuff you should be careful until your body adjusts don't fight your sleep it makes it worse.

may14th 26

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:12

punctuation pls

littlekellilee 45

Wednesday 10 June 2015 17:51

Not always Ambien. Zopiclone makes me sleep walk, sleep text, sleep phone people, and most recently sleep work.

lovelockdown23 23

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:10

Lol that makes me wonder how bad your next dream will be

TheGolfGTI 24

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:11

Sounds like urine a very bad predicament.

creatureman 14

Wednesday 10 June 2015 10:35

You know what? I have to give hat one to you. *slow clap*

Jasper1405 16

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:13

I'd say the good thing here is that you didn't target your girlfriend, that would have resulted in your permanent banishment to the couch. I feel for you and your dog though, hope you're doing well.