Intimacy: Drunken antics

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 06:44 - United States

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 282

You deserved it 3 398

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Same thing different taste

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 2 040

By Anonymous - 02/02/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 697

You deserved it 9 445

By thanks. - 28/01/2017 04:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 967

You deserved it 823

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 414

You deserved it 19 720

By Adam - 16/01/2017 08:00

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 784

You deserved it 996

Don't you want me baby?

By Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 98

How romantic

By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 246

You deserved it 43 585

By feelthelove - 02/11/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 611

You deserved it 5 615

Giving

By nt121511 - 03/08/2016 22:40

Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 135

You deserved it 1 154

By Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 599

You deserved it 8 129

zadok24 11

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:27

Well, at least it's not dry anymore

Attacksloth 33

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:28

Well at least you know you can still make women wet for you.

Comments

zadok24 11

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:27

Well, at least it's not dry anymore

whysobeachy 37

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:44

Yeah, OP is living a dream...a wet dream.

Econforthwin 15

Tuesday 28 July 2015 19:09

That long of a dry spell must have pissed OP off.

delfino1604 24

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:27

hey that's awesome bro.

mds9986 24

Wednesday 29 July 2015 5:12

Your picture is sideways; I'm not sure if you realized.

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:27

Wouldn't you feel it?

4WheelBurnout 14

Tuesday 28 July 2015 22:58

At least it wasn't OP that pissed the bed

Attacksloth 33

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:28

Well at least you know you can still make women wet for you.

axfabxdisaster 25

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:29

Atleast she's straight forward :/

swanheart 35

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:29

"No, did I?" - try a joke and see how she reacts. she may have been trying to break the tension with humour. If so great, if not get out quick!

whynotbliss 18

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:19

Kinda late to go back and do as you suggested, don't ya think?!

swanheart 35

Wednesday 29 July 2015 22:23

You are correct sir, thank you for correcting me. Now run along - if you are going to correct everyone on this site who has made a similar mistake then you need to start right away!

swanheart 35

Wednesday 29 July 2015 22:27

Oh man, I said 'correct' there a lot didn't I? To be fair, I did just learn it today...

Levvy 22

Thursday 30 July 2015 1:03

I'm not quite as confident all that many people on the site have struggled with linear time.

swanheart 35

Thursday 30 July 2015 7:53

I think you will find that gazillions of people on this site have struggled with that concept. Or they will do, depending on what direction time flows in this universe. :)