I think OP took beating his meat too literally.

Masturbation is fine. But if the wife can't have vaginal sex, can she also not have other kinds of sex? Even her beating her husband off is better than him having to do it himself every time.

Although it's not a physical ailment I'm guessing his wife is on antidepressants which are completely suppressing her sex drive, so there's a chance she wouldn't even be interested in helping him out there

He shouldn't have to ask her permission to **********. Just go do it.

I'm sure he does things he's not interested in for her. It's called a marriage.

I'm surprised no one has suggested bringing up a sexually open marriage? I have a friend who's asexual, they will never, ever have an interest in sex, but partner wants sex. Their partner satisfies their physical needs with a close friend, and the relationship remains committed and monogamous emotionally.

Good idea Grimmerie, I didn't think of that. There's a chance OP won't be open to that either, there are a lot of people who only want sex with the person they're with

This is exactly what I was going to suggest.

True, I totally get that some folks only want to have sex with one person. Monogamy works for a lot of people! It's just a suggestion for a different way of looking at relationships c:

#56 "they never want sex" Asexual here. You statement is untrue. Every Ace is different, and every relationship is different. Many Asexuals have a healthy sex life and even enjoy sex, they just do not experience sexual attraction (the "OMG THAT PERSON! I AM SO GOING TO **** THAT PERSON!" feeling). Other Aces will have sex to please their partner. Only repulsed Aces are generally not down with any sort of sex. Many asexuals that I know are opposed to open relationships, even repulsed Aces. We also don't know what the wife is sick with and hubby saying he wants to bang other women while she's not feeling and not looking her best could back fire. If she has depression or cancer it could read that OP wants to move on.

I doubt that the poster you are replying to was talking about all asexuals. It sounds like their friend doesn't want to ever have sex, which is an entirely different thing.

Why would you ask? It's your own body and you're not cheating so it should be your own decision, especially if they aren't helping the situation.

Hi 77! Sorry my comment was worded in an unclear way. I was talking specifically about my friend, who uses they/them pronouns. Myself and all of my partners are on the ace spectrum as well and we all have different opinions about having sex. I hope that clears that up!

Ah! That does explain it. I really wish a gender neutral pronoun would catch on... They/them gets confusing.

@77, If you enjoy having sex, then you are not "asexual". The prefix "a-" means "not". Thus, to be asexual, you can't even want to have sex even every once in a while.

fleshlight as an anniversary/birthday/christmas present?

WTF is it to do with his wife if he has a wank?!?!?! it's his dick for him to do with as he chooses.

#3 You and OP are wonderful guys!

Physical ailments aren't always treatable (within reasonable means). My wife had her ovaries removed so all interest in sex is gone and intercourse is painful, but she still loves to cuddle and we still make some time together.

Pegging will change your life

Pegging IS life.

Only when your use to prison relationships

I don't know what pegging is and the FML the other day makes me scared to look it up.

also, can we mention that punching yourself in the penis? that can't feel good. how cold of you to assume he's a bad husband when clearly he's trying. also not to be a bitch but have you ever seen maslovs hierarchy of needs? sex is on there. he's right about the mind, BODY and soul. and two of those three things are easily increased by sex.

His mental and emotional health is involved too, you know? He's totally normal for wanting to have sex. and the fact that he's not cheating on his wife is a proof that he is keeping his shit together... Keep om working, OP. Patience is the key. ;)

Your comment makes me sick. So narrow minded.

If he's willing to punch himself in the dick so he doesn't upset his wife, something tells me divorce is the last thing on his mind

I said if it doesn't get any better (imagine the case where this situation is permanent, that's what I meant).

By that same argument anyone whose married to a deployed soldier has the right to divorce them due to the fact that they can't have sex with them, it's completely irrational, and completely unfair to the spouse.

Whatever happened to 'in sickness and in health' eh?

I feel sorry for whoever marrys you.

There is no such thing as "wife duties" and thinking that is incredibly sexist! Sex is not necessarily a part of a married couple and is in no way an obligation to be fulfilled

Some people still take the "in sickness and in health" part of their marriage vows seriously...

#39 I think that was a reference to the Bible. Technically it says that if a marriage isn't consummated, it can be annulled. I don't think that flies under US law though. With regards to the soldier thing, I believe there is a way you can get a divorce if they've been gone long enough but it doesn't make it less scummy.

You DO realise that there is more to a relationship than sex, right?

#39, I think there are both "wife duties" and husband duties. They are both the same thing: to love, care for, and support each other, unless marriage vows and general good relationships are "incredibly sexist."

I don't think that's what they meant, I think they mean separating it. Like "a wife's duty is to cook for her husband". I think most people understand that what you said are their duties to each other, it's just separating it into one has to do this and the other does this.

No it's not

64 Either A: You're trolling and are going about it in the laziest way. or B: You're willfully ignorant about how your body works and of the massive amounts of studies that have shown that masturbation has benefits on par with a steady workout regimen.

Yeah, not to be crude or anything but he could try stroking it instead.

I'm pretty sure it's not that his wife has somehow decided not have sex out of spite. It says right there in the FML - she has a physical ailment, jizzy socks will not fix that.