By Maggie - 18/03/2013 19:38 - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 620
You deserved it 3 509
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

sarah6786 14

Next time when you wake up roll over and say "good morning sexy" to your vibrator.

249 5
chelsearenaeee 16

Turtles can be pretty cute.

129 5

Comments

sarah6786 14

Next time when you wake up roll over and say "good morning sexy" to your vibrator.

249 5
fuckmahteeth 4

or be like you were amazing last night...vibrator ;)

11 20
jonn090 13

I say that to my crack. Fun times , fun times....

7 15
chelsearenaeee 16

Turtles can be pretty cute.

129 5
Success4444 12

If he makes breakfast for the turtle instead of you, you'll know it's time to be worried.

22 1
garrett1999o3 16

I need to get up early for FML's. Because you guys always steal the best jokes. ;_;

6 0
Kal3Y 12

That must be a gorgeous turtle he has there.

33 2
buddy51 23

OP- good you saved yourself the mortification of having your reptile-loving turtle-humping husband confirm his true love is his teeny turtle. No accounting for some people's tastes, OP. Better you know know and move on than that you stay and play third wheel to a terrapin!

1 19
hotPinklipstick 24

I normally don't comment crap like this, but, this confused the **** out of me. I've reread this like 10 times and I can't comprehend what #5 is trying to say. Can anyone else decipher this?

11 3
Catkam623 27

I think he misread the fml and somehow thought that the ops husband has a turtle fetish, while it may be true he prefers the turtle to op that doesn't mean he wants to **** the turtle

1 1
buddy51 23

Doesn't mean he doesn't want to either. And it does mean he's more loving to his turtle than to OP... That sound good to you? I suggest OP cut her losses and leave reptile boy...

2 2
mrpotatohead36 7

Well turtles are pretty damn beautiful!

16 2
dmoran20 27

Specially in soup, nothing like veggies and turtle to start your morning off, with the exception of smoked wild pig... Mmmm memories :-/

2 8
dramaelf 37

To be fair, turtles are pretty awesome.

16 0
Interwebzombie 15

Especially the ones that wear ninja mask.

6 0
perdix 29

Maybe you need to come out of your shell.

67 3
Reaper1984 13

It sounds like he's one of those who once he has you he lays off the affection...... sorry OP and good luck

5 2
buckdharma 36

Oh snap Joy, your identity has been blown again. Tell the Crabman and Mr. Turtle, I said hey.

8 1