Love: Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé...

By StrandedWhale - 03/11/2013 07:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 830

You deserved it 5 160

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Same thing different taste

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 975

You deserved it 12 166

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 135

By wifeofafainter - 24/09/2015 06:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 421

You deserved it 3 070

By coloris - 03/08/2019 00:01

Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 134

By Al - 22/06/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 924

You deserved it 3 354

By Jacklyn - 18/03/2012 19:18 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 775

You deserved it 20 098

By Anonymous - 09/09/2010 20:09 - United States

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 652

You deserved it 14 680

Jogging is bad for you

By Broken - 17/06/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 929

You deserved it 6 761

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 458

You deserved it 3 604

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 979

You deserved it 5 357

kaitieloo 22

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:33

Ultimate douchebag.

transcedental 18

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:36

This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.

Comments

kaitieloo 22

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:33

Ultimate douchebag.

caohm 18

Sunday 3 November 2013 16:01

buy a big mean looking dog but don't tell him and put it in his car right before he has to go to work hell have a nice surprise waiting for him.

Sports_guy3 28

Sunday 3 November 2013 16:42

Nononononono! I accidentally voted YDI. Your fiancé is a huge turd.

swaggalikethat 22

Sunday 3 November 2013 20:23

Ouch, sounds ruff（;￣O￣）

Wederoney 16

Sunday 3 November 2013 21:41

Well, I have to admit it was funny until i read the last sentence.

fakedsincerity 32

Monday 4 November 2013 0:17

hopefully the baby gets most of the OPs genes and skips the douchebag ones.

cryssycakesx3 22

Monday 4 November 2013 1:07

OMG no #38!!? you did not hit YDI?? that's completely unbelievable let alone acceptable. how could you do such a thing...

nyellow 6

Monday 4 November 2013 6:07

Hey leave them alone!!

PunsY0 5

Monday 4 November 2013 7:46

it was funny untill the last line.

nishantvas 13

Monday 4 November 2013 7:54

You know I would've been laughing on my gf as well had this happened to her, BUT the being pregnant part make your fiancé an actual douche bag !!

MaddieAllTheWay 5

Monday 4 November 2013 23:39

So true

Jeffy91 28

Tuesday 19 November 2013 7:02

I would even say he is lower than an ultimate douche bag. He is closer to being the crud scraped off a man's scrotum that hasn't seen the likes of water in over 10 years.

Samuel5463 12

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:20

Harsh words

ipman737 18

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:34

Sorry OP, make him sleep on the couch tonight!

PterodactylMan 23

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:49

He deserves to sleep outside. Hopefully the babies okay!

luckyone365 7

Sunday 3 November 2013 16:32

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

awesomeamandas 37

Sunday 3 November 2013 16:37

He deserves to sleep in the doghouse.

Welshite 39

Sunday 3 November 2013 17:02

#35: Last I heard, a relationship was a partnership. Breadwinner or not does not make it okay to mistreat your spouse/partner, male or female. It's even worse when a child is involved. I don't care if one spouse makes more than the other. Respect is one of the most important necessary ingredients to a healthy relationship.

Enslaved 36

Sunday 3 November 2013 17:17

Sleeping on the couch isn't a punishment in my house. My couches are comfortable as hell! Sunday nap, here I come! :P

rgriff27 19

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:34

What an immature jerk!

angiemarie96 25

Sunday 3 November 2013 19:47

Would've been hilarious if she wasn't pregnant

shank39 12

Sunday 3 November 2013 20:35

Yeah... Totally insensitive prick...

dingleberrysteve 6

Monday 4 November 2013 16:19

its only funny until the baby is born with down syndrome

Zaharra 10

Tuesday 5 November 2013 7:29

Down syndrome is genetic.

nix1993 41

Friday 8 November 2013 17:53

I don't think the dog could have knocked an extra chromosome into her baby.

transcedental 18

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:36

sunnyray812 42

Sunday 3 November 2013 18:14

I know. He really should not be a father.

isallwaysme 27

Monday 4 November 2013 0:31

any guy can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad.

nelliegw 26

Monday 4 November 2013 2:03

Well said, #108.

twitchtail 21

Monday 4 May 2015 3:34

Same. This is absolutely rediculous (sorry I legitimately can't spell that) how your husband and future father to your baby could just stand there laughing as you get injured. Unless of course you weren't injured. It's still horrid no matter what way you put it.

jessicircle 16

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:36

If he didn't think it was a good idea to help you up, then maybe he doesn't care about the safety of his child. Not only could you have been hurt by being knocked down, but so could your unborn child. That's really rude of him to just stand there and laugh. In his defense, I think a lot of people just stand and laugh when someone falls over.