Love: Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé...

By StrandedWhale - 03/11/2013 07:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 833

You deserved it 5 161

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Same thing different taste

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 981

You deserved it 12 167

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 136

By wifeofafainter - 24/09/2015 06:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 3 075

By coloris - 03/08/2019 00:01

Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 135

By Al - 22/06/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 925

You deserved it 3 355

By Jacklyn - 18/03/2012 19:18 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 776

You deserved it 20 100

By Anonymous - 09/09/2010 20:09 - United States

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 14 681

Jogging is bad for you

By Broken - 17/06/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 932

You deserved it 6 762

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 461

You deserved it 3 606

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 980

You deserved it 5 357

kaitieloo 22

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:33

Ultimate douchebag.

transcedental 18

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:36

This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.

Comments

frozenoreo 6

Monday 4 November 2013 2:51

Sorry you're procreating with this tool. FYL

KrystaBaby13 2

Monday 4 November 2013 3:23

Wow, what are you doing with this guy...?

KoveGames 5

Monday 4 November 2013 3:31

So?

Devul143 12

Monday 4 November 2013 3:35

uh, yeah.. he's a dick.

brit628 7

Monday 4 November 2013 3:38

I would tell him off then tell him to go sleep in the backyard and I'd set the timer for 2am and for 2:10am for the sprinklers

Ksweety_fml 27

Monday 4 November 2013 3:42

Your fiance ain't shit.

brit628 7

Monday 4 November 2013 3:42

I would tell him off then tell him to go sleep in the backyard and I'd set the timer for the sprinklers, for 2am then when he thinks he turned them off they will go off again at 2:10am