By onyinye - 19/11/2015 13:09 - Germany - Neum?nster

Today, my fiancé finally went to a therapy session with me because of the difficult circumstances we are facing. Afterwards, he shouted at me for "talking to someone about our problems". I told him that's kind of the point of therapy. Now he's sulking. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 580
You deserved it 2 201

onyinye tells us more.

onyinye 4

hey guys, OP here. We have been together for several years now and we've been through a lot. I'd say we have grown together and our relationship is great in general. However, a lot of bad stuff has happened in the past (I got raped and he kinda blames himself for not being there for me and protecting me at that time, which he couldn't, because he got falsely accused of dealing drugs and was behind bars for a couple of months until they let him go). About the marrying stuff, we are still engaged and want to get married in the future, but considering the circumstances we have decided to wait for things to settle before actually setting a date and going through with it. I think the reason why he got angry is that he usually sees himself as "the strong man" and the protector and while he is comfortable talking to me alone, he felt really uncomfortable being vulnerable in front of a stranger.

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Top comments

A1NoSauce 17

Wow... That definitely is a lot to go through as a couple. I hope you two can works things out somehow. Best of luck, OP.

169 1
UnidentifiedFun 37

If he's not willing to make it work by using a common remedy, either find a way to talk through things yourself, or reevaluate your decision to marry him

161 6

Comments

JewKnowIt 19

Sounds tough OP. Maybe it's those difficult circumstances? Hopefully he cheers up. I don't think it's your fault.

33 6
nityasomaiya 46

Oh he's just being a baby... He'll get over it.

2 3
MrsDruidess 23

or hes an idiot amd OP should run. . . just sayin

1 0
APHPrussia 19

At least you guys are getting help. I'm sorry for you, OP!

14 5
UnidentifiedFun 37

If he's not willing to make it work by using a common remedy, either find a way to talk through things yourself, or reevaluate your decision to marry him

161 6
MariaGiovanni 25

Agree. Help only works if they want the help. Sounds like he didn't even know what he agreed to.

29 1
NthDakotaBeaches 12

I think it is a little bit premature to jump to divorce... Not everyone is comfortable with therapy the first time they go. Anyways they are facing "difficult circumstances" which is really the true test of commitment and marriage, obviously things won't always be great

1 34
Kiernan151 25

23, they're not married yet so they can't divorce, and 3 was saying that if he wont work through problems with her(?) then she might want to re-think marriage because he'll still not want to work through their problems (probably).

23 1
mads_nicole 19

Therapy isn't always the answer for some people. It might just be something that works for you but not him. Sorry OP, I hope it all works out for the best.

18 6
WinterChild 20

The first step of acceptance is denial. Things will get better OP.

4 21
herofaircloth 18

Denial is, by definition, refusing to accept. Also, there are no illnesses in this situation, the five stages don't really apply.

5 4
higgysaurus 18

#35 its called the 5 stages of grief, no illnesses need to be present. OP's significant other could be grieving over his relationship problems.

7 2
IronMan_Mk43 20

#37 the 5 stages of grief is only meant to apply to people who have been diagnosed with a terminal illness

2 21
higgysaurus 18

#39 uh no, grief is felt in a variety of situations, anywhere from terminal illness to death in the family.

10 0
hufflepuffle 13

#39 You really don't understand the concept of grief do you?

5 0
Emirac 10

#39 I'm pretty sure I grieved hard and went through those five steps when I got dumped from out of nowhere, evicted, was homeless, and then had to move 1,000 miles away to live with family. I talked to a therapist while grieving the loss of everything I'd worked for. And there were no illnesses.

10 0
Weirddate 11

#46, I'm sorry to hear you went through all that. I must say you deserve a lot of praise for bouncing back from those circumstances. I'm sure you've heard it before, but probably not from a total stranger. I'm proud of you.

3 1
HeatTransferFlow 12

I also lived those 5 stages when I learned that I had 4 more weeks to wait to receive money from my scholarship, when I already had waited 8 weeks. French administration is the worst thing ever...

0 8
Emirac 10

That was a smiley face, fyi. It just translated into a question mark.

2 1
mollybelle 13

At least you're making an effort to go to therapy. That's very thoughtful. Maybe he just doesn't want you to go to anyone because he feels embarrassed about the situation right now. Hang in there, it'll get better.

16 2
oiler 21

If hes not willing to go to therapy for you i dont think he will like going through marriage?

5 6
SweetasCandy0609 28

#8 He did agree to go with her however it sounds like he didn't understand why they went to see a therapist and what therapy actually is since she had to explain it to him.

10 1
Grayness_ 26

It must be hard being that f**** stupid.

5 20
dabaerju 23

********. That wasn't too hard now, was it?

4 2