Miscellaneous: Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was... - FML

By kk - 09/01/2013 16:07 - United States

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 738

You deserved it 5 324

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By kelly - 21/03/2011 07:07 - Estonia

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 292

You deserved it 4 778

By preggo - 04/12/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 997

You deserved it 4 195

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 155

You deserved it 1 320

By Dig4life - 05/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Kent

Today, after telling my mom that I'll be going to Las Vegas with my dad for my 21st birthday, she started ranting about how my dad always wanted to abort me and that she was the only one who actually wanted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 770

You deserved it 2 288

By lawdy - 21/05/2017 20:00

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 639

By ilovemom - 21/01/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 258

You deserved it 6 660

Family values

By family sucks! - 06/10/2021 23:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I ran into my aunt I hadn’t seen since I was a child. My mom told me she took off and stopped speaking to everyone. After lunch, I asked her why she left. She said our whole family ostracized her for aborting her abusive husband’s baby and divorcing him instead of "making it work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 386

You deserved it 118

Domestic

By I’d rather be homeless - 24/01/2022 17:01

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 181

Revelations

By Anonymous - 29/09/2021 20:45

Today, I told my mom I was thinking of having a baby. She told me it was a huge mistake because children cost a fortune, make you miserable, and if she'd had her chance again she would have gotten her tubes tied when she was 18 and saved herself the grief. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 264

By wastedbaby - 04/07/2011 02:02 - United States

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 739

You deserved it 3 767

Next

Top comments

shaniahthecurlyl 6

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:06

I am sure she was joking - if not, that is depressing..

fuzzbuck1 4

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:07

She should of swallowed that load then.

Comments

ashleynsays 4

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:06

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

phantumgrey 6

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:24

Mom just trolled you op. that is very funny.

Ryan_Jaxson 8

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:24

You have a morbid sense of humor.

MoeT8979 8

Wednesday 9 January 2013 20:32

Naw, you just don't have 1 at all

nnnope 26

Wednesday 9 January 2013 21:31

1 - yeah, if you're an asshole

myurlbriii 9

Wednesday 9 January 2013 22:00

The person who wrote this FML needs to lighten up, they're here aren't they? Take a joke.

XxDevilxXGt 26

Wednesday 9 January 2013 22:21

Classic FML: You get thumbed down for that first comment, and the first reply to you is almost exactly the same except with the "troll part", and gets 10 thumb ups. :D

shaniahthecurlyl 6

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:06

I am sure she was joking - if not, that is depressing..

chell1894 13

Thursday 10 January 2013 7:26

"Apply cold water to burn area"

Mf2307 15

Friday 11 January 2013 5:56

agreed

MistaBlista 9

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:06

Tell her you wish you were put up for adoption. That'll make her mad.

OhDearBetrayal 25

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:11

I somehow highly doubt that. If she was itching for an abortion I doubt she'll mind if he were to disappear. She might even celebrate it.

ttqq 7

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:28

Maybe not anymore. She hated pregnancy, but now that it's over, she probably loves her son/daughter.

fuzzbuck1 4

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:07

She should of swallowed that load then.

VenomSiphon 13

Wednesday 9 January 2013 22:10

*Should have

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:09

Next time you see her, wear a coat hanger on your head.

Catkam623 27

Wednesday 9 January 2013 20:06

Perdix that's so ****** up but funny at the same time I'm not sure if I want to laugh or gasp I think both.

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 January 2013 20:08

I advise you to laugh because I think that would be a helluva funny way to stick it to such an itchy, bitchy mother.

amillionbucks 5

Wednesday 9 January 2013 21:41

I don't get it...

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 January 2013 22:57

#43, look up "back-alley abortion." I haven't, but I guess you'll find enough info to get the joke . . . and then you'll laugh and laugh!

LolFMLnot 10

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:10

She was probably joking. If not then tell her it's too late now.

Spectre529 12

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:12

I hope that was sarcasm.. That's really low =/

deathy94 14

Wednesday 9 January 2013 23:06

I don't think you know what sarcasm is.

vocaloidtiger 12

Friday 11 January 2013 2:38

52 - Do you?

ICastillo 24

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:13

At least she had the will power to resist her craving...

insaneDONUTZ 15

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:14

that is something you should never say to children

Ray_of_midnight 22

Thursday 10 January 2013 3:56

I agree, even if it was a joke it was in extremely poor taste.

mrssuarez2011 12

Friday 11 January 2013 8:29

Couldn't agree more, it's not even humorous as a joke.

maz95 17

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:16

You must've really ticked her off to get her to say such a thing.

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The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 548

You deserved it 7 856

Today, my boyfriend was eating me out and I was so close to orgasm, but he suddenly stopped because his phone notified him of the football scores. He only stopped for a few seconds to check but the moment was ruined, and even though he got right back down there it just wasn’t happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 281

The Top

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 047

You deserved it 4 192

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 771

You deserved it 2 046

Today, I engaged in a healthy round of rebound sex to get over my ex, who was very controlling of my body. During the act, Mr. Rebound said my nipples looked like pepperoni. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 746

You deserved it 1 329

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 757

You deserved it 2 531

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 379

You deserved it 2 536

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 429

You deserved it 3 375