Miscellaneous: Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was... - FML

By kk - 09/01/2013 16:07 - United States

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 741

You deserved it 5 325

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By kelly - 21/03/2011 07:07 - Estonia

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 308

You deserved it 4 780

By preggo - 04/12/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 999

You deserved it 4 195

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 159

You deserved it 1 320

By Dig4life - 05/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Kent

Today, after telling my mom that I'll be going to Las Vegas with my dad for my 21st birthday, she started ranting about how my dad always wanted to abort me and that she was the only one who actually wanted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 771

You deserved it 2 288

By lawdy - 21/05/2017 20:00

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 481

You deserved it 641

By ilovemom - 21/01/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 259

You deserved it 6 660

Family values

By family sucks! - 06/10/2021 23:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I ran into my aunt I hadn’t seen since I was a child. My mom told me she took off and stopped speaking to everyone. After lunch, I asked her why she left. She said our whole family ostracized her for aborting her abusive husband’s baby and divorcing him instead of "making it work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 390

You deserved it 118

Domestic

By I’d rather be homeless - 24/01/2022 17:01

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 182

Revelations

By Anonymous - 29/09/2021 20:45

Today, I told my mom I was thinking of having a baby. She told me it was a huge mistake because children cost a fortune, make you miserable, and if she'd had her chance again she would have gotten her tubes tied when she was 18 and saved herself the grief. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 265

By wastedbaby - 04/07/2011 02:02 - United States

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 742

You deserved it 3 767

Next

Top comments

shaniahthecurlyl 6

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:06

I am sure she was joking - if not, that is depressing..

fuzzbuck1 4

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:07

She should of swallowed that load then.

Comments

_wraith 15

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:21

Judging by her response I'm under the impression your mother may not like you very much, OP. On a serious note, I'm sorry you had to hear that. That was incredibly rude and uncouth of her. But hey, at least she didn't indulge her "craving" and you were born.

lowshadows 21

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:22

that's messed up.

PenguinBitch 43

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:25

Burrrrrnnnnnnnn. I see no other response other than a ole' **** You but she'll say you did already.

ohmandapants 16

Wednesday 9 January 2013 22:21

So according to you OP ****** his or her mom?...

Valiumknights44 12

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:27

Even if that was meant as a joke it was harsh and insensitive.

FayBerry88 11

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:27

Makes you grateful for your life, doesn't it? :-)

Jessj958 19

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:28

What a mean thing to say!! I can't imagine EVER saying anything like that to my kids. That's not something to joke about, if she says she was only joking. I'm sorry OP

poopshreds 10

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:29

favourited!

ideasrule 13

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:34

Tell her that she should have gotten one, to save you from the misery of living with her.

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:38

"If I knew what kind of shit mom you would turn out to be, I would have hung myself with my umbilical cord in utero." See how she likes that imagery!

simoncat 11

Thursday 10 January 2013 0:27

...and see how she'll be impressed by your use of the phrase " in utero."

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:51

Your mom's a bitch, even if she was joking like that. ***There's an old wives' tale that says if you have a birthmark, it usually resembles whatever food your mother was craving when she was pregnant with you. I have a T-bone steak on my hip and my sister has a lobster looking one on her angel wing.(but it kinda looks like a penis.):P

taka805 10

Wednesday 9 January 2013 20:19

Never heard of that birth mark thing... But mine looks like mashed potatoes... Haha. Thanks for the insight...

Epikouros 31

Wednesday 9 January 2013 23:39

My birthmark is circular, so that still leaves me guessing. Pancakes, pizza, cookies?

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Animals Awkward Smells Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Anniversary Boredom Abuse Intimacy Ironic Alcohol Am I overreacting? Transportation Drunk AITA Kids Parents Gun control

The Top

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 86

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in and saying, "That's an expensive bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 653

You deserved it 10 594

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been seeing another girl behind my back. The kicker is that he told her I was his lazy sister and had just moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 320

You deserved it 2 188

Today, I finally got the courage to ask my workmate about her tattoo. She's been in the office for 4 months and I'd always wondered why she had a red cheese grater tattooed on her arm. So I asked. Turns out it's a lady's shoe. She walked away from me and never talked to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 331

You deserved it 1 385

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 062

You deserved it 22 156

Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 348

You deserved it 5 967

Today, my wife and I got into a massive argument after she started a YouTube channel for our young daughter. I explained that I’m not comfortable with god knows who looking at our kid. Apparently, I’m just being paranoid. She’s already recorded our entire house, including my daughter's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 033

You deserved it 194

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 620

You deserved it 2 618