First to down vote you. And definitely not the last, assuming the mods don't delete or moderate your stupid "first" comment first.

#11: The words were not randomly capitalized. They were being stressed.

That's right. My phone either doesn't have an italicize function, or if it does I simply can't figure it out.

#2 took the words right out of my mouth. ....first thing I'd do is locate a mirror, and hope (soooo much) there was like a mustache or something.

hahaha

Op should check his face. They probably drew on it or something.

Or maybe OP was just sleeping funny (weird face and mouth wide open) and everyone took a picture.

that's the worst

That's nothing new in most places, people fall asleep on public transport a lot. I'm betting OP let out a triumphant fart.

The musical food

The more you eat, the more you toot

Train sleeps are like, the best thing ever. Never had anything weird happen before. OP probably just made a small noise or jumped a bit when they woke up, causing people to look round and then smile when they realised what happened.

Mary?

Not sure if that was a joke or just a lack of religious knowledge, 56..

I have no mother.

In Catholic tradition, Jesus was the human incarnation of God, Mary was the mother of Jesus, therefore she is the mother of God. I think I've even heard a Catholic prayer that goes, "Mary, mother of God..."

Image the shame of being caught with your hands down your pants on a bus!

*subconscious

Unconscious. He was sleeping.