The Top

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Best teeth in the game

By indiemusicnerdgirl - 16/12/2024 21:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I had to get three teeth pulled. That would've been fine if they were all on the same side of my mouth. Nope, two were on the upper left and one on the bottom right. I kept thinking my upper lip was gauze it was so numb, and I kept drooling like a baby. I've barely been able to eat as it's so sore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 92

Shoot your shot

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I’ve had a crush on for years. I was so nervous, I got confused and sent her a text meant for my best friend that said, "I’m about to ask her out. Pray I don’t puke on her." She responded with a laughing emoji and said, "You really need to work on your game." FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 395

Red tape

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 01:00 - Latvia - Riga

Today, I've been waiting for a response for a grant application that I need for my salary in January. I applied for it in June. Initially, they said that they would send out answers in November, then changed it to December. Three days before Xmas, I got a rejection. Now I'll be spending my holidays looking for more grants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 101

Fork off

By Godzilla’s wife - 28/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 103

Soaked

By Jus' me - 30/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was getting ready to relax on my couch and watch TV under a comforter. I had a bag of snacks and the remote in one hand, and a glass of Coke in the other. Usually, I throw the remote onto the couch before settling down… only this time I had it in my left hand and not my right. At least the glass didn't shatter this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 393

Straight into my veins

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, after being sick and not having coffee for a month, my body has invented a new way of processing caffeine: The tiredness and lethargy remains untouched, while the caffeine-jolt is converted directly into a fuzzy headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 92

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 09/12/2024 08:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I found out that at my work they are cutting one and a half of our departments, and I might need to find a new job. The problem is it's going to be really hard to get new job, as nowhere will want to hire someone who needs surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 81

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I procrastinated so much on asking out the guy I like that this morning I had to wish him a happy first wedding anniversary. Yes, I procrastinated so much that he had time to date someone else, get engaged and married, and make it to the first anniversary, and I still love him. God I’m pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 802

The gift that keeps on giving

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, after I fell off of a 150-foot cliff, bruised like crazy with two skull fractures and two foot fractures, one of my closest friends brought his sick girlfriend to visit me while I’m pretty much immobile, and I tested positive for COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 104

Festive spirit ruined

By MF. - 19/12/2024 03:00 - North Macedonia

Today, I won't be getting any Christmas presents because the Secret Santa activity I take part in was canceled. Why? Some jerks messaged racial slurs to the organizers, who decided volunteering to do something fun for people wasn't worth the abuse. Thanks, idiots (and my apologies to the organizers). FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 97

Deer in headlights

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 135

Stay home next year

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 04:30 - India - Puducherry

Today, my father is a 70 year-old narcissist deep in debt - because he spends so much to show off and boost his ego to unknown people - but never spends a single cent on family. He nags me non stop and shouts that he's going to die in front of my toddlers. Why did I want to visit family for holidays? FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 110

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom - Rickmansworth

Today, my boyfriend phoned me at work and broke up with me. Why, you ask? A boy I was semi-seeing about a year ago decided to show my boyfriend's best friend a video of him fucking some girl and said it was me, and that I cheated on my boyfriend. At the end of day, he believes it's not me, but WTF is going on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 81

Peckish

By Ethan - 21/12/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I ordered a mountain of junk food for myself on Deliveroo. Embarrassed, I pretended there was other people in the house by yelling, "Food’s here, everyone!" to avoid judgment. The delivery guy smiled and said, "Come on, be honest mate, no one else is in there is there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 562

Mid-life crisis

By Anonymous - 04/01/2025 12:00 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 56

Season's greetings

By Joe Bloggs - 31/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I mistook a stranger in a supermarket aisle for an old friend and gave them a big bear hug from behind. Turns out, my "friend" was just now a very confused man in a very similar, but oddly specific jacket that I thought my actual friend had claimed he made himself. Guess not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 345

Family outing

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, our daughter brought home a stray dog without permission. When my husband came home we took it to a shelter, who sent us to another shelter half an hour out of our way. Then their ADHD asses both wanted coffee at 6pm. By the time we got home, my dinner, and only my dinner, was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 218

Bogged down

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 11:00 - United States - Randle

Today, the morning before my flight with my boyfriend’s family at 2 am, I had to use the bathroom and unfortunately the toilet got clogged after a couple of safety flushes. Turns out my boyfriend can’t unclog the toilet and it’s the only toilet in the house of four people. We leave at 5 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 102

Unreasonable

By Rowyn - 04/01/2025 01:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my family got mad at me and called me a "selfish" for not moving to the same state they’re in while I was visiting, so they could be closer to my kid. We were living in the same house as them until two years ago, in my current state, until they decided to move with only a month's notice for me to find a new place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 27

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm horribly sick with a stomach bug. My wife insists on yelling for my help every fifteen minutes, saying, "If you want kids, you better get used to this. They don't just go away when you're sick." When she's sick, however, she expects to be treated like a princess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 133

Today, my 8 year-old little sister said, "F*** you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said, "Gotcha, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 111

You deserved it 4 208

The Top

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 026

You deserved it 3 306

Today, I ran into a girl I used to go to school with. We went out for dinner to catch up, and we ended up at my house, watching movies and cuddling. This fantastic and spontaneous date was concluded with several kisses. I dropped her off at her car and drove off. I forgot to get her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 750

You deserved it 64 217

Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 078

You deserved it 277

Today, I learned that losing 110 lbs causes people to start kissing your ass. The same people who told me to go fuck myself and didn’t give me the time of day before are now worshipping the ground I walk on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 300

Today, I knew my wife and kid wouldn't be home until later, and I was excited to play video games and relax. The second I turned my computer on, the power went out. It came back on as my wife was pulling into the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 117

Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremely selfish person, and that I don't love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a back rub in two weeks, sleep too much, and have a hormonal problem. Once again: I AM PREGNANT! FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 104

You deserved it 5 877