The Top

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Practice makes perfect sense

By Anonymous - 06/08/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I practiced my wedding vows in front of the mirror we have in the hallway. When I was done, I heard clapping from my living room. Turns out my fiancé’s parents had come over early for dinner and had heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 142

Leonardo syndrome

By Anonymous - 19/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Savannah

Today, my boyfriend, who is 10 years older than me, told me that he never wanted to get married and that he felt bad for wasting all of my time, and he just "doesn't want the responsibility of being in a relationship." After 12 years. I just found out he's dating a younger girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 93

What happened?

By Someonethrowmeabone - 24/08/2024 08:00 - United States - New York

Today, I'd finally found a decent job after months of unemployment, I'd even got my kids into after-school care for my job. They'd told me they could handle my autistic son. I got them back at the end of the day today and they said not to bring them back. What the hell do I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 97

Keeping up appearances

By vanessax - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Crown Point

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 557

You deserved it 23 437

No more!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. On my way home, my legs gave out halfway up the stairs to my apartment, and I had to awkwardly sit there until I could crawl the rest of the way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 143

Frozen

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I almost got fired from my job because I was caught "sleeping" during a virtual meeting. I wasn't asleep; I was on mute, and my internet froze while I was mid-yawn. It took a while for my boss to grapple with and understand the concept, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 72

Oddly specific cold open

By lalalalala - 23/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I got a call from a telemarketer who asked, "Is this the crazy cat lady?" I only own one cat, but apparently, that’s all it takes to earn a reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 101

Bad omen

By three years wasted - 01/10/2024 13:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend sobbing so I went over to comfort her. She didn't want to talk about it, but was inconsolable. I called her best friend to help out, as maybe it's easier for her to talk to a woman instead. I found out from her friend that my partner's ex got his new girlfriend pregnant. That's why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 77

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent a good few minutes watching my wife thrash our son with a pillow because despite all our warnings to him about safe sex, he and his girlfriend are going to be parents in about 6 months, and they’re both 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 107

Toot etiquette

By Mama - 22/10/2024 20:00 - Switzerland - Basel

Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 339

Hey big spender!

By Haley - 27/10/2024 21:00 - United States - Great Bend

Today, I opened some junk mail addressed to my fiancé and saw a credit letter about applying for a new mortgage. When I called to tell him his identity was stolen, he admitted he bought a house, and then broke up with me. I had no clue he was unhappy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 124

Hung up

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband booked a restaurant and a trip to the theatre for my birthday, and even got me some nice jewellery. It’s not my birthday. It is his ex-girlfriend’s birthday though. My birthday isn’t for another four months. It’s the thought that counts I suppose. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 66

Medical malpractice

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 02:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and nausea. I sat in the waiting room for six hours, just to be told, “We don’t know what’s wrong with you. Try taking Gravol and Tylenol and maybe lay off the fatty foods.” I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 98

Soiled

By Mustanggt - 03/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my clueless British boss booked me on a six hour Greyhound bus trip for work. He doesn't know what happens on American buses: the endless delays and stops, the drugs, the sharts… FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 83

Time to get chomping

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I ordered groceries online and thought I’d gotten a good deal on apples. I didn't notice they were sold individually, so now I have 36 apples sitting in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 391

Trashed

By Millie07 - 07/11/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 79

Nice welcome

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got back from a six month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of three years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 805

You deserved it 6 443

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I took a deep breath and started journaling to "figure out my life." Two hours later, I had written four pages of ranting about my upstairs neighbor's loud footsteps and zero pages about my life goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 299

Dream baby dream

By ugh - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Troy

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 342

You deserved it 3 443

Obsessional

By Jacklynn - 30/11/2023 10:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don’t have a life outside of him. I don’t have any friends other than him, nor do I have any hobbies or interests; he’s the centre of my world. Apparently this makes me too available, needy, and codependent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 1 194

Date night

By So much for a friendship - 08/12/2023 13:00 - Israel

Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 181

New friend

By Anonymous - 13/12/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my kids got me a dog to replace the dog who died last year. I don’t like dogs, our old dog was my deceased wife’s dog, and I never liked it. I cared for the dog until it died of old age and fully intended to never get another one. Now I have a hyperactive puppy destroying my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 199

Red flag

By Anonymous - 17/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Ontario

Today, I want a baby, but suddenly my partner says he doesn't want any kids because he already has a child. With another woman. He's not been part of the mother's or child's life in over 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 275

Ignore the void

By Anonymous - 22/12/2023 13:00 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 110

Red tape

By christian_slate - 24/12/2023 09:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, the DMV told me I had to pay a $39 "renewal" fee for a mistake they made. After over an hour of waiting, they printed a license without a Real ID star like my previous one. Then they tried to blame me for not asking for one. I didn't have time to resolve this two weeks ago, and now Pennsylvania says it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 99

Bad boy

By MikeIsMaster - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 585

You deserved it 5 359

Diagnosis results

By robbed of youth - 02/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I realized that a kid in my class is actually autistic and didn't have ADHD. The teachers went out of their way to lie that he has ADHD and not autism. No wonder people thought I was a "retard" (their words, not mine) when it came out that I had ADHD and started using classroom accommodations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 130

Clique

By nick - 14/01/2024 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I’m being accused of groping and holding a drunk girl inappropriately at the party I hosted. I was literally holding her up, to prevent her from throwing up all over my floor and furniture. Her friends did a good job of just standing there, leaving me, a man, as the only one to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 109

What?

By IHaveThePower - 17/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, like every day since birth, I have a sensory processing disorder that stops me hearing things properly. It's worse with accents. I live in the Southwest and I can't understand anyone's spanish accent. I'm not racist, I swear; I'm just disabled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 105

She's 28 years-old

By Meryem - 19/01/2024 12:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was out with my niece at the store. Where we live there aren't many people of color, so it's surprising when you do see someone like that. Anyway, we were shopping and my niece just hysterically screamed, "IT'S A CHOCOLATE MAN EATING CHOCOLATE!" while pointing at a black man eating chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 178

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 086

You deserved it 1 593

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 373

You deserved it 5 178

Today, after many days of messing around with wording and pictures, a huge and expensive printed card order came in to the office. I spelt the first word wrong. I can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 902

You deserved it 9 858

Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 238

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 057

You deserved it 26 503

Today, at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with both sciatica and ADHD. I don't know whether to feel really old, or really young. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 87