Miscellaneous and Shopping: Time to get chomping

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Time to get chomping

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I ordered groceries online and thought I’d gotten a good deal on apples. I didn't notice they were sold individually, so now I have 36 apples sitting in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 414

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Same thing different taste

Banana bread?

By Sarah - 11/09/2021 05:01 - United States - San Diego

Today, I ordered 3 bananas on Instacart, but actually received 3 overripe bunches of bananas. I don’t know what to do with 18 bananas before they all rot by tomorrow night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 219

Adulting is tough

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 541

A Losing Battle Is Raging

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, I realized I’d been walking around a small grocery store for 10 minutes holding an avocado I grabbed but didn’t need. Too embarrassed to put it back, I guess I’m buying an avocado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 512

Deluxe Memory Man

By St Steven - 15/04/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping but once at the store I realized that I'd forgotten my shopping list at home. I ended up buying a bunch of random items using basic guesswork and forgetting what I had originally gone to the store for. I now have two avocados, even though I hate avocados. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 1 245

Keeping up appearances

By waterpistolriot - 23/10/2020 11:02 - Austria

Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 864

A bit much

By Anonymous - 27/08/2019 18:00 - United States

Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 990

Classic

By Dylan - 15/10/2023 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went to the supermarket to buy just one item - a single, ripe avocado. After spending way too long choosing the perfect one, I got to the checkout counter. I'd left my wallet at home. I had to abandon my poor avocado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 559

By numbat97 - 14/06/2019 02:00 - Australia - Burswood

Today, I bought some mandarins so that there would be at least one healthy thing in my shopping basket, and I wouldn’t feel like such a fat lard at the checkout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 1 479

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 125

You deserved it 3 819

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 12/02/2025 15:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I went to the store for one thing: eggs. I came out with eggs, a new plant I didn’t need, and a jar of pickles that I’ll never eat. At least the eggs didn’t roll out of the bag this time, especially now they're practically considered a luxury item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 432

poopface82 19

Wednesday 6 November 2024 2:09

Now would be a good time to learn some apple-based recipes.

Comments

poopface82 19

Wednesday 6 November 2024 2:09

Now would be a good time to learn some apple-based recipes.

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Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be got to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 842

You deserved it 5 208

Today, I received a call from my employer. They found that some of my nudes have surfaced on the internet. Personal nudes and videos I took exclusively for my boyfriend. He denies he put them out there. Then who did? How stupid does he think I am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 098

You deserved it 602

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 976

You deserved it 3 529

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 928

You deserved it 2 153

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 754

You deserved it 5 499

Today, we're having my grandmother over. Because we don't have a guest room, she is sleeping in mine. It is 25°C at night and she is sleeping naked with her dog right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 026

You deserved it 366

Today, I took my boys over to their grandmother’s house. We had a nice supper together. We all talked, played board games, and watched TV. After a while, I couldn’t find my 13 year-old son. He was in his 67 year-old grandmother’s master bathroom, jerking off with her dirty granny panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 212

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who looked like Ryan Gosling in his profile pictures. When I arrived at the restaurant, he was wearing a tank top, flip flops, and looked more like an actual Gosling, but not as cute. He then had the audacity to bail, stating I was skinnier than I was in my pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 177

Same thing different taste

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