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From beyond the grave

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I realised that my powers of disappointment had reached a new low when my ex sent me a message saying that our friend who passed away two years ago would be very upset with me for how I'm "behaving." So upset that it's also upsetting my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 111

Smooth

By Jank - 30/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, on a third and hopefully eventful date, I tried to be smooth and pull out my date's chair for them at a restaurant. I misjudged the distance and ended up pulling the chair out from under them completely, causing them to fall. The rest of the date was spent apologizing profusely. No third base either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 569

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 169

Adulting

By Laurenb - 06/07/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I was teaching a class when a kid asked me why grown-ups needed to drink coffee. Before I could answer, another kid chimed in, "Because adults are boring and tired all the time." I laughed and said that sometimes adults need a little extra energy. One kid raised his hand to ask, "Is that why you're so grumpy every morning?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 197

Radio silence

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 07/07/2024 21:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, my family wonders why I don't call them more often. Probably because every single facet of my life is a disaster; medically, professionally, mentally and emotionally. Who wants to listen to a radio station that has nothing but bad news playing on it? Also, no habits that will get me an early grave. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 129

This isn't fine

By ana - 09/07/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, I hope to tell my roommate that I want to leave and never look back, because I'm done with the bird and the dogs and the hair and shit everywhere. I can't anymore. My brain is going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 87

DIY FML

By Ally - 17/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried doing a hair dye at home for the first time. I misread the instructions and left the dye on for twice the recommended time. Now my hair is the color of a traffic cone and brittle enough to break if I sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 538

It's all about control

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, my parents said they were cutting me off for saving a kitten's life and wanting to keep it. I am 40 years-old and don't get any money from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 61

Be careful what you wish for

By lordoftheweird - 20/07/2024 15:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my mom is upset that she can't get a date, but my dad can. This is the woman who doesn't shower, has a drug problem, and was arrested for spying on a local kindergartener. She was the one who demanded a polyamorous relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 92

OCD or asshole?

By Ellie - 23/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I got home to my grandma yelling at the top of her lungs that I didn't do everything I was supposed to when I was home. I literally washed dishes, cleaned counters, vacuumed, gathered trash, AND cleaned the bathroom. I didn't fold my blankets. That's it. That's what she was yelling about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 100

What did you say?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 12:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 309

Missed opportunities, mixed signals

By Annabell - 07/08/2024 08:00 - United States - Louisa

Today, it's been 5 good months since I reconnected with a guy I've known since elementary. I have him on every social, he called me pretty, etc. We weren't ever together but he acted like my boyfriend. He stopped talking for a month, with messages every now and then, and now he has a girlfriend and doesn't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 193

Control

By Anonymous - 13/08/2024 16:00 - United States - New Smyrna Beach

Today, I moved out of my parents' house and started living alone. All of a sudden, my parents started requiring me to text or call them every 5 minutes to tell them where I am and what I'm doing, from 6am to 12am every day. If I don't, they will go looking for me, and force me to move back in with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 110

Thanks, I think?

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I received a package at work. Thinking it was something I ordered, I opened it in front of my coworkers. It was a gift from my grandmother: a giant pink, “I Love My Grandson” T-shirt. The worst part? They insisted I put it on and take a picture to send to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 279

No thanks

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 03:00 - United States - Yorktown

Today, after being repeatedly talked into meeting my mother and grandmother for lunch, when they were done they tried to convince me to let my grandmother move into my house, for the second time in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 63

Never engage with the enemy

By Anonymous - 23/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Henderson

Today, I was at a grocery store when I saw a kid waving enthusiastically at me. Thinking he was adorable, I waved back with a big smile. The kid looked horrified and ran to his mom, screaming, "Stranger danger!" Everyone in the store aisle turned to stare at me like I was some sort of creep. FM

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 95

No joke

By It was worth a shot - 28/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. When I went to pay my bill, one of the owners jokingly said, "Are you here to apply for a job?" Since I've been unemployed for a while and trying to find work, I said, "What would you like me to do?" She replied, "That was a rhetorical question." I knew it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 96

Kids these days

By natasha - 29/08/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my stepdaughter flat out refused to eat her father’s mashed potatoes. Just a day ago, she was raving about how much she loved her dad’s cooking. Why would she lie? FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 126

Freudian

By Riley99 - 31/08/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was introducing my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. I meant to say, "Mom, Dad, this is Tom." Instead, I said, "Mom, Dad, this is Mom." My boyfriend is now jokingly reconsidering our relationship, and my parents won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 165

Welcome back!

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from two years working abroad and my parents had a surprise party to welcome me back… and introduce me to my baby brother. Turns out my mum got pregnant while I was away and convinced the whole family to keep it a secret so it would be a big surprise. He’s almost a year old already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 86

Strict house

By Sierra - 10/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after I spent a weekend at my boyfriend’s house, I came home to find the locks changed. My parents decided to change them because they “don’t need me slutting around under their roof.” My boyfriend lives 4 hours away and I have nothing but an overnight bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 141

Thank you for your service

By Paulalala - 11/09/2024 20:00 - United States - Helena

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop asked if I had a reason for going so fast. I panicked and said, “I have to poop.” He followed me home with lights on, just to make sure I made it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 451

That one bad friend

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, the woman I am absolutely in love with will only be my friend. I wish I could get her to understand how much it hurts to see her with boyfriends, and only be friends. I'm starting to feel like I can't maintain this friendship because it hurts so much. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 794

I'm coming!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 22:00 - Denmark - Aarhus

Today, I was late for work so I ran to catch the bus. I made it. Unfortunately, the bus was actually out of service, and I just sprinted to a parked vehicle for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 120

Drama!

By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 505

Inferiority complex

By jakob the small twink - 22/09/2024 13:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I pulled up to a party/house rave. I was told there were a decent amount of women there. I guess they'd all left by the time I arrived. The only girl I saw there was my ex-girlfriend, who left me without a trace last month, dancing with a bunch of guys who were all physically way bigger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 167

Joe Smooth move

By Karel - 24/09/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 345

Thanks!

By Yuri - 29/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 352

Way too transparent

By Louise - 07/10/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I got a friend of mine, who I also like, a present for his birthday. When I gave him the present, he winced and told me, “Thanks, this is sweet and all, but I only like you as a friend.” I haven’t even told him how I felt or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 157

Good for you

By Fergie - 08/10/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 106

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 896

You deserved it 2 259

The Top

Today, my boss asked me to work over the entire weekend. That would be fine if I didn't already work a 60 hour week. He also said the extra hours on the weekend wouldn't be paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 734

You deserved it 2 119

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 819

You deserved it 3 254

Today, I found out that my boyfriend thinks brushing his teeth is unnecessary, because, "the world is going to end because of climate change anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 210

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 460

You deserved it 4 133

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 387

You deserved it 3 499

Today, after weeks of my brother being laid off from work, I was able to finagle him an interview for one of the entry level positions at my work. He got the job, only to refuse it because it doesn't pay enough. I thought 9 dollars an hour was a lot more than 0 dollars an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 538

You deserved it 1 715