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Mind games

By Anonymous - 05/08/2024 10:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my ex texted me being all flirty and sexual and yet was never like that when we were together. Not long later, his new girlfriend messaged me saying, "Stop messaging my man, he doesn't want you back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 83

The place to be

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, the choir director I’m playing drums for sent an email saying we’d changed venues, but didn’t say where it was, making me hunt for this venue, and making me nearly late to rehearsal. The bass player was here on time. How did she find the venue? The director's Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 144

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 03:30 - India - Bengaluru

Today, I found a really amazing person on a dating site. We had just begun our conversation and within 15-20 minutes, the site went offline. I thought she'd ghosted me, and she's probably thinking the same too. It's been two hours and it's still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 96

Amen

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, apparently my bathroom breaks have perfect comedic timing. My very religious parents were praying in the living room. I quietly snuck into the bathroom that's less than ten yards from where they're at. Right as they finished praying and saying "Amen" I let off a massive fart, and my dad burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 109

Role model

By Ryan - 11/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 186

Take it easy

By KittyT - 02/12/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, on the third day of my first holiday ever, I still have food in my stomach from the first night. Yesterday I tried to walk up the beach and ended up crying in immense pain. I guess a holiday wasn't such a great idea after being diagnosed with gastroparesis a couple of weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 151

Just beat it

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 02:00 - United States - West Des Moines

Today, my boss tried to knock down a tower of empty boxes next to me while yelling, "Beat it, nerd!" A box hit my face and knocked my glasses off. I got bullied by my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 66

Creeps, creeps everywhere!

By I hate people - 15/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of revealing my finger in a photo. The first comment was, "I bet that finger has never been in a vagina before." The image wasn't remotely NSFW. I'm now afraid of showing any body part in any photo I take ever again, assuming these disgusting creeps are always gonna be around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 138

Poor kitty

By My poor baby :(((( - 21/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when a cat loses a fight with a swarm of bees, the swelling from the stings can make it look like a cartoon character. My cat's nose looks like Operation Man's nose, and his paws are comically massive. I feel so horrible for laughing, but the vet bill will bring me back to reality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 172

Good intentions…

By Anonymous - 18/05/2024 09:00 - Germany

Today, I drove for three hours to surprise a girl after surgery. My truck broke down outside her place, and it turns out she's over an hour away at her family's place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 203

Be realistic

By Anonymous - 01/01/2024 21:00 - Namibia - Windhoek

Today, someone said that giving men gifts is so easy, just pay attention to what he says. He wants Chelsea on top of the league table. How am I supposed to do that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 132

Connoisseur

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was reprimanded by my mom and her current man over my opinions on one of their church social friend's "homemade" lasagna. I didn't say anything, just took one bite, and ate no more. How politely do you say that you know full well she shoved Stouffer's frozen lasagna into the oven? I recognized it from just the smell! FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 172

Free healthcare when?

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 08:00 - United States - Warren

Today, after my dad hurt his shoulder, it turns out nothing is broken but we don't know anything else. He might have a rotator cuff tear, which will require surgery, and he's already been out of work for a week after he got rehired from being laid off. He's starting to lean on me financially and I get SSI only. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 101

Stewart Lee has let himself go

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 15:00 - Israel

Today, I noticed while sitting on my office chair, my belly is now large enough to touch my thighs. I'm not pregnant, I just ate my feelings for the past few years, and gained about 20kg in total. I've never felt so much self-loathing as I do right now, and I'm too ashamed to ask for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 274

Never enough

By Anonymous - 16/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I spent hours in town getting everything I'd need to make dinner, taking the cat to the vet, getting gardening supplies, and filling up our extra tanks with gas for the mowers. I came home, only for Mom to wordlessly plunk down an empty pack of cigarettes, and grin like a Cheshire cat, then sip her wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 71

Motherly love

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, my mom texted me, “I just want you to know I love you very much.” Touched, I replied, “I love you too, Mom!” Her next message said, “Oops, wrong person.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 61

Stay in school, kids

By Anonymous - 15/04/2024 07:00 - Japan

Today, my sister and I were talking about our salaries. She just graduated from university and will start working soon. It turns out that she'll earn more money than me. I have been working for 4 years. However, my earnings are still less than those of a worker with no experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 222

Take it seriously

By Sis in crisis - 27/10/2024 03:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 138

Framed

By Anonymous - 02/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Bay Shore

Today, I tried joining a Roblox game, only to discover I was banned. According to the game's creator, it was because I'd exploited on an alt. The alt was an account intentionally impersonating me in order to frame me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 109

The Prime Minister is concerned

By Anonymous - 21/05/2024 22:00 - Australia - Balaclava

Today, I got a call from a 24/7 psychiatric triage centre. Apparently, writing to the PM about assisted suicide puts you on their 'at risk' list. Is it not reasonable to ask if Australia is going to follow Canada's lead in complex mental health as a qualification for assisted suicide? I'm getting another call tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 179

NEXT!

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 126

People person

By Validate me please - 22/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I found out that having a "praise kink" is apparently not normal. I didn't even know that was a thing. I thought wanting validation was something that applied to everyone. How comforting it is to know that regularly seeking approval from others is considered abnormal. My mental health is real messed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 177

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 93

Never crush on company time

By Anonymous - 25/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent a heartfelt text to my crush confessing my feelings. I was over the moon when I saw they were typing a response. Turns out they were just asking if I could cover their shift at work. Rejected and now on the night shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 246

Hogwatch

By What great parents I have - 10/09/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my parents were watching videos of police officers dealing with stubborn suspects. I overheard my mom saying, "It's like a Christian trying to argue with an atheist about God" and my dad agreed. Good to know that they're still as intolerant as ever, and it will never be safe for me to come out as an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 206

Jaws

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 07:00 - Philippines - Cebu City

Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 98

Hassle

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was talking about his upcoming wedding like it’s a disease he got diagnosed with, like, “Yeah, I got this wedding thing” or “Man, it’s gonna be hard to get through” and my favourite “A pain in the ass, I wouldn’t with this shit on anyone.” I feel so sorry for his fiancé, poor girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 123

Badass

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 08:00

Today, on a plane, a little kid was kicking the back of my son's chair. When the kid's mom went to the toilet, my son told this little kid, "If you kick my chair one more time, I’m going to kill your mom and you’ll never see her again." He stopped kicking but damn, what kind of son did I raise? FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 242

The price of Floof

By Renee Cashmore - 30/07/2024 17:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I dropped $1600 at the emergency vet because I thought my 14 year-old cat was constipated or obstructed. He was neither. He just had lots of gas in his intestines. I paid $1600 to find out my cat needed to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 148

Networking

By grant - 07/06/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 182

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Friends AITA Jealousy Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents ADHD Medication Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 896

You deserved it 2 259

The Top

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 364

You deserved it 334

Today, my man comes from a rich family but he doesn’t get along with them too well, and considers himself “blue collar by choice”. Apparently this entails forgetting basic human dress code, like it being a bad idea to wear a black shirt, unbuttoned, untucked, and with cargo pants for his new high-level office job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 210

Today, on my second week in my new job, I opened my desk drawer of snacks. Apparently no one had bothered to tell me that there's an office rat or mouse that the building management refuses to do anything about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 353

You deserved it 501

Today, my hotel room key wouldn't open my door. Maintenance had to come let me in. My giant dildo was out on the table. I'm a 250-pound man, traveling alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 1 390

Today, my boyfriend told me I should stop talking about his major gambling problem because he still loves me even though I gained weight. Apparently that evens things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 3 437

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 440

You deserved it 9 117