Intimacy and Sextoys: No kinkshaming here

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 11:00

Today, my hotel room key wouldn't open my door. Maintenance had to come let me in. My giant dildo was out on the table. I'm a 250-pound man, traveling alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 1 390

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Fun vacation times

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 465

You deserved it 27 368

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 897

You deserved it 40 593

By FML - 15/07/2009 14:29 - Syrian Arab Republic

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 667

You deserved it 5 308

By RoxahTheGreat - 26/12/2009 01:50 - United States

Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 432

You deserved it 4 081

By "Nancy Marlin" - 16/07/2017 13:00

Today, I had to call the hotel we were staying at to recover some items I had left. Those items consist of a cellphone, razor blades, used batteries, and a vibrator. They have nothing to do with each other, but yes, they're at the front desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 663

You deserved it 1 398

Miss you, bed

By LadyGrey - 27/01/2015 11:45

Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 048

You deserved it 6 322

By Anonymous - 15/06/2011 13:37 - Denmark

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 170

You deserved it 3 305

By Notthekeytosuccess - 12/04/2017 00:00

Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 590

You deserved it 1 712

You ain't seen me, right?

By Blueberry - 17/09/2012 02:00 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 233

You deserved it 2 423

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 308

You deserved it 37 453

coolrunnings1021 14

Tuesday 27 April 2021 12:29

embarrassing but its nobodies business what you do in private

red6joker 8

Tuesday 27 April 2021 13:54

As a hotel worker. I can tell you that he has seen worse.

Comments

Plop 17

Tuesday 27 April 2021 12:12

Just tell them it's for medical reasons because you're incontinent and need to "seal the exit". That way you'll completely save face!

coolrunnings1021 14

Tuesday 27 April 2021 12:29

embarrassing but its nobodies business what you do in private

red6joker 8

Tuesday 27 April 2021 13:54

As a hotel worker. I can tell you that he has seen worse.

princess_stabitty 20

Tuesday 27 April 2021 15:37

Your huge ***** is at the rear end of the shocking stuff the maintenance guy had seen.

geerod 15

Tuesday 27 April 2021 15:45

Your never alone if you have your *****!

Matt Much 12

Tuesday 27 April 2021 20:24

You get accustomed to it after a couple times. I own one of the dolls and live in an apartment. I'm sure maintenance has seen it and when the police do the door to door "how's the neighborhood" event, they have seen it. Plus, as a mechanic, I can say I wish I only saw ****** in cars. I've seen WAY worse.