Transportation: Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my...

By ShameMonkey - 27/09/2016 10:15 - Australia - Glen Waverley

Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 240

You deserved it 1 982

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Same thing different taste

Too late

By Anonymous - 01/03/2015 13:31 - United Kingdom - Guildford

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 436

You deserved it 2 793

Classic

By anonymous - 22/04/2011 10:50

Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 888

You deserved it 6 887

Crotch rot

By LassieToe - 30/03/2012 03:48 - Australia

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 463

You deserved it 2 830

By niabby - 20/02/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 455

You deserved it 6 864

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 7 047

Beep beep beep

By chloe - 29/06/2009 09:44 - Australia

Today, I was rushing to get on the train to work as I heard the "door closing" beeps. I was about to step onto the train when a man pushed me out of the way so that he could get on. My handbag fell out of my hand into the carriage. I stayed on the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 146

You deserved it 3 129

By Whoopsie - 22/02/2012 15:53 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 943

You deserved it 3 366

Sorry!

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 14:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 306

You deserved it 4 928

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 226

You deserved it 2 475

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 909

You deserved it 12 672

xxDeeStar 27

Sunday 16 October 2016 11:07

That is utterly hilarious! I laughed out loud haha! But I hope he had a good sense of humour.

kctrl 8

Sunday 16 October 2016 11:39

Very rarely does an FML make me laugh aloud, but this one did. FYL OP, but thanks for the entertainment!

Comments

xxDeeStar 27

Sunday 16 October 2016 11:07

That is utterly hilarious! I laughed out loud haha! But I hope he had a good sense of humour.

kctrl 8

Sunday 16 October 2016 11:39

Very rarely does an FML make me laugh aloud, but this one did. FYL OP, but thanks for the entertainment!

Trainn 19

Sunday 16 October 2016 11:52

This one made my day.

Lalala579121 27

Sunday 16 October 2016 12:17

I hope he wasn't a wanker about it.

hekinokuroihi 20

Sunday 16 October 2016 12:54

Did he act like a knob after?

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 16 October 2016 13:15

I must admit having a bit of a hearty chortle at this. I hope he had a sense of humor.

ApeTheGreatApe 11

Sunday 16 October 2016 13:17

Just slowly close him shut, lift your hand off the knob and act as though nothing had happened

demideity 13

Sunday 16 October 2016 13:19

Maybe he wanted to be your knob ;)

Attacksloth 33

Sunday 16 October 2016 14:53

Looks like you got out of that situation by the skin of [his head].

HeroZeroPlayer 22

Sunday 16 October 2016 15:07

Mother of pearl this is hilarious. I'm at work on a Sunday night alone and this just made my night xD

popperpuff88 15

Sunday 16 October 2016 22:05

brilliant! Haha

Keywords

Transportation Poopoo peepee Cars Dentist Health Awkward Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Clothes Work Job interview Miscellaneous Weird Holidays Family Vacation Parents AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Money

The Top

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 1 921

Today, two weeks after giving my daughter-in-law a severe scolding for forcing my son to do chores and babysit the kids on his days off, I went to visit them and found out that they'd changed the locks, so my key no longer works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 746

The Top

Today, I stood down from 12 years on the committee of a sports team. I did a lot for the team, I raised funds, organized events, arranged travel. Other people do something minor and get "Star of the Month" awards but I was never recognized with the same in 12 years or even a "Thank you" when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 102

Today, I ran downstairs to meet the Amazon driver and threw on a shirt in a rush. Only after he left did I realise it was my shirt with artful rips in the design and I'd forgot to put on a vest under it. I'd flashed the driver my entire right boob with nipple piercing through one of the holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 1 856

Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 234

Today, in an attempt to keep a conversation flowing, I panicked and asked a man what country he was from in response to him telling me he was Brazilian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 327

You deserved it 735

Today, I tried to tell my best friend how wrong she is to be dating a married man, whose wife happens to be pregnant with their first child. Our talk ended with her calling me a "meddling, frigid bitch" and me being told this is why I can't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 235

You deserved it 2 812

Today, I woke up as usual, got dressed as usual, and went to work as usual. After a few hours, however, I found out that my shirt was completely see-through. Only 6 more hours to go in a predominantly male office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 965

You deserved it 1 069