Work: Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice?...

By Breanne - 14/07/2011 15:25 - Canada

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 264

You deserved it 2 323

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

What?

By Candlestick Maker - 07/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I went to a doctor's appointment to figure out why I've suddenly started going deaf. As it turns out, for some reason my ears now produce wax at an alarmingly fast rate. "Enough to make an entire candle before long if you save it up," the doctor said when she cleared them out. I guess this is my life now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 76

Glue ear

By I can't hear you! - 14/12/2022 09:00

Today, I found out that my waking up every morning with my ear being ridiculously plugged is actually an ear infection. How did I not know? It's simple: my ears generate enough wax to make an entire fucking candle, so I assumed they were just building up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 142

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

By EarScentedCandle - 27/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 204

You deserved it 337

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 470

You deserved it 6 724

By loverofstrife - 07/10/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a co-worker that everyone else always seems to avoid. He spent the next ten minutes telling me all about his abcessing sebaceous cysts. Apparently, "The scars look just like gunshot wounds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 108

You deserved it 5 619

By suppressinggags - 18/03/2016 19:45 - United States - Kennett

Today, I found out that my stepsister loves sticking random household objects in her ear in an attempt to collect ear wax. I found out when I walked in on her trying to pick all the wax out of the bristles of my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 530

You deserved it 1 243

Coming through

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 18:00

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 187

Fingerlickin' good

By Anonymous - 13/07/2016 04:22 - United States - Lewisville

Today, while working at my new job at a surgery center, I noticed how odd it was that the room began to smell like fried chicken. I thought it smelt pretty good, until I learned it was actually the smell of someone getting their ear cauterized. I enjoyed the smell of someone's burning ear flesh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 241

You deserved it 1 761

By Nickolas - 31/12/2010 05:58 - United States

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 057

You deserved it 3 731

By stankness - 22/03/2013 15:01 - United States

Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 348

You deserved it 2 789

clownman 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:53

you work in the same office as Shrek??

aardvarks 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:48

Won't that be a lovely scent?

Comments

sxe_beast 11

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:48

Tasty.

MrSassypants 32

Thursday 14 July 2011 19:15

Why would you taste a candle? Your supossed to smell it.... though iit probably would most likely be tasty.

baddud300 6

Thursday 14 July 2011 19:18

Well if you want you can come "Blow" my candle. :D

nolaneldridge 1

Thursday 14 July 2011 19:36

16 your dick lights on fire?!?! I wish mine could do that

amsgirl11 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 19:57

Thats Gross . haha

geeksaresexy 18

Thursday 14 July 2011 21:12

That would be an awesome trick!

Merylwen 24

Thursday 14 July 2011 21:25

That's gross but funny: he wanted to do the same thing as Shrek ! So in the end it's almost cute XD

whyXD 13

Thursday 14 July 2011 22:44

maybe he's asking you for some help.:)

dolphincheddar 10

Friday 15 July 2011 1:24

way to be resourceful! this reminds me of the time I recycled my own feces as manour for my opium plantation. it saves money! :)

FunnyWeasel 7

Friday 15 July 2011 3:35

At work I call "regulars" the customers

dolphincheddar 10

Friday 15 July 2011 5:06

do you by chance work at a fast food restaurant?

zendaddy0 0

Friday 15 July 2011 6:31

shrek nostalgia here I go hrgdhjfhdfdgffgdgjyefgfrgh

FunnyWeasel 7

Friday 15 July 2011 10:43

yeah I work at mcdonalds but the op could be in retail, who knows?

rebornbabe 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:52

LOL

aardvarks 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:48

Won't that be a lovely scent?

fymother 13

Friday 15 July 2011 0:38

they did this on mythbusters. apparently it was awful.

EmyB_fml 8

Friday 15 July 2011 1:53

Hmm, ear wax scented candle... Noms

fanceh 10

Friday 15 July 2011 5:04

yeah, I saw this on mythbusters. it doesn't work though, haha.

grapist 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:49

2nd!!!

clownman 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:53

you work in the same office as Shrek??

Isoldael 27

Monday 18 July 2011 18:51

A regular, not a colleague :p

darkness4dummies 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:54

how is this an fml just asking

Termites 15

Thursday 14 July 2011 21:10

hahaha.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:55

I can't imagine that candle would smell very good.

melmel4018 4

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:55

this is hilarious.

kaoriblossom 8

Friday 15 July 2011 8:56

I feel sorry for the doctor who has to remove it :D

gene818 13

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:55

Mythbusters tried this. Firstly, it's disgusting. Secondly, it's busted (it just wouldn't work in reality).

Rick_S 3

Thursday 14 July 2011 19:39

To tell you how gross it was, everyone was gagging and almost puking. This is Mythbusters, where they've seen and done everything, and they were getting sick!