Gassed up

By Tootie - 30/07/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 951
You deserved it 3 544
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Top comments

YacL 15

Drop another paperclip to mask the sound?

243 4
DrewsFML 8

Sit in your office chair in the aisle and let your gas propel you through the maze of cubicles. if you're going to get fired, you may as well do it in style.

163 0

Comments

tayza249 20

Could plug it up with something, maybe a cork..

5 13
cmfh88 0

This is worse than that time Peter tried covering up his farts with coughing...

46 3
flockz 19

or a *****. those always work great for me, but ive never had a farting problem...

26 1
dolphincheddar 10

beads are more fun flocks. you should try them sometime

8 5
santarosakid 5

you can try and hold it in just pray you don't sneeze lol

9 1
flockz 19

as long as they're frozen. my ass is like a roasting oven so i need something frozen or else it will melt in there. i can't shit for a week!

8 6
TheChampagneBoi 5

silent but deadly

3 10
wintamint101 7

just take lots of bathroom breaks

4 1
swimchica22 0

Bring in a dog and blame it on the dog(: say you fed it bacon for breakfast

3 7
dolphincheddar 10

borrow bubble boy's bubble and wear a gas mask?

2 5
dolphincheddar 10

62, like you and your father every night?

8 15
CattyPurry 0

they're all going to be giving you heads in the office tomorrow.

2 1
jayalexander 7

shove a watermelon up there! nothing, and I repeat nothing will get passed it.

10 1
trevishere 7

Beige in those car smelly things, like 6 of them in, ad hang them!

3 0
JayBear14 11

Just remember to say safety :P

4 0
partyfool2011 4

123- not sure how but that comment made me lose The Game.

3 2
TookaWooka666 0

Try to spread your asshole and butt cheeks when you need to fart that way it just eases out and doesn't have to squeeze through the cheeks.

4 0
YacL 15

Drop another paperclip to mask the sound?

243 4
bengermin 5

Not joking, adult diapers will muffle the sound. Test it out if you don't believe me.

15 0
getviolated 5

or or or or or this might be crazy but...buy a fan? wow that was almost too easy

3 15
Ali_Br_fml 33

let's hope it doesn't make you blow chunks too... that would be a lot worse...

10 30
vikhelios 6

meh keep farting bro don't let the man keep you down

82 2
22cute 17

Hello, it's a woman :)

6 3
wordnerd42 0

According to the Bro code, chicks can be Bros too.

19 0
ArmedcrackerR6 8

Just don't shart lol

41 6
rhpsfan9 10

I sense your going to get a lot of dirty looks at work.

18 3