All the FMLs

Didn't realize this got posted! But her parents knew we were out drinking so it wasn't a big deal :) it was just really late, like 3 or 4 in the morning, so she figured they'd be asleep. Felt pretty stupid when I woke up!

OP here, thank you all for the replies!! Just to confirm she's not religious at all or anything like that and acts as if she's really supportive to my face before going behind my back and acting as if it's demonic or something. The awkward part, though, is that my younger sister came out as lesbian a few years ago too, and my mother was more than happy to discuss her and her girlfriend, but despite myself having been out to her for 8 years now, she still seems to be really awkward about me dating guys. Also, to the few individuals who suggested that I must look like a girl, I'm more of a beard and suit sort of guy personally. On another note, thank you to those who suggested calling her my father and going into her work place in Drag; I'll be staying with her next month for a little while and may have to borrow one of my sister's dresses and cosplay wigs to roll up to her workplace - along with unshaven legs and face, whilst maintaining the usual booming man voice, of course.

Hey all, OP here, never thought I'd get a FML posted, so I guess this is another one to cross off my bucket list. lol Yes, as stated you can take an empty bottle through security and then fill it on the other side. Thanks for the funny comments, those made it more bearable. The hit hurt and left a small bump but I have a hard head so it's nothing major, and it was more shocking than anything, I had no clue what happened at first, just sudden pain. The guy with the water bottle was really apologetic and I could see he genuinely felt bad, so no hard feelings. Hopefully the new year will be better for us all! Happy New Years everyone!

Holy crap I finally got published! A little back ground, we knew that mom and her now husband had gotten a marriage license almost 2 months ago but had never gotten it signed (therefor not legally married). We had talked about it the week before and she had told me she didn't think she'd go through with it because he is an alcoholic (like her), abusive, and irresponsible. We were shocked and more then a little upset that she had gone through with it, and that she hadn't told anyone about it, but at this point we're all used to this kind of behavior and I haven't talked to her since.

OP here. I didn't create an account because I didn't think this would get posted. Thanks for making my day! I just wanted to clarify some things, especially about the olive oil and vinegar gift set. The father is Italian and appreciates a good bottle of vinegar and oil, I'm not talking about the regular kinds you can get at the supermarket, but olive oil that is cold pressed and infused with rosemary herbs, the vinegar is infused with dark espresso and they both gushed about it. Now, about the soap, it is not "fancy" or thoughtful, it was a square bar of soap (think Dial) in a Ziplock bag, the soap had no wrappings. Had I not notice the foul odor coming from the armpit area of the dress, I would have agreed that the dress probably just absorbed some of the smell from her house, but in this case, I highly doubt it. Also, the dress tag was put in through a thread loop, not through the fabrics, and the tag was already yellowed with stains. The Coach leather bag itself had a strong leather smell, but what I smelled was something resembling sweaty feet, the purse had dried white stains on it and parts of the leather was scratched up. Needless to say, you won't see me wearing any of those things on New Years Eve. Happy Holidays everyone!

OP here. There have been a few questions, so I will take the time to answer them. First off, my siblings are 9 and 11 (I am a whopping 10 years older than them. Yay me.), so at this age I would like for them to keep being happy and innocent on Christmas and not associate it with the day their family was torn apart. In the case of my mom, she wasn't caught, but the reason I was the one who had to hide everything was because she was being heavily medicated after having a surgery and almost let it slip the night before. My dad has cheated on my mother multiple times and has not treated her very well, so I can understand why she would cheat and I don't pity him. I guess I've dealt with my mom crying over him for so long that I've seen this coming and it is karma. No matter what happens from here, I will not allow my siblings to be sad and have their family torn from them on Christmas because the adults don't know how to adult.

Wow my first fml. Let me try explain my stupidity. So I work in the floral department at a grocery store. Yes I have blown up regular balloons but never the life size ones. I had seen 1 time before of a coworker using a manual air inflator in one we had on display, so I just assumed we'd use it in all parts. The lady was hovering over me the entire time so that added to me being nervous. I finished and realized I had to put weights on it...and that's when I realized I did something wrong. The lady was yelling at me "What is wrong?!" Like she could even help. And then commanding I get someone over here who knows what goes in it, (but all my floral managers were not here) and I told her that so she proceeded to tell me to call another store...Long story short she was really mad at me understandably for the amount of time I took. And I did tell her from the beginning I've never done one of these before...But luckily there was a coworker in returns who knew how to blow it up so she blew up a new one. It's helium in everything except the gun, and a leg. So it doesn't completely fly away. It doesn't seem difficult at all. Just the anxiety of being watched as you're trying to learn something new. Oh and my title for this fml I was still trying to work on it but accidentally sent it to moderation, whoops