All the FMLs

I haven't seen this until almost 3 months later! Thanks for the support, turns out she was LYING about being married and just wanted to not work with me in the most obvious way.

Hey guys! OP here. Here's a follow up and a clarification. It was a single sheet of glass, about four feet long, and it fell as we were moving things around, breaking when it hit the floor. The glass shelves cost the store $200-$400 each, and we're always being reminded to be careful because they are so expensive. I was being careful, but the heavy shelf slipped in through my hands and the corner of the shelf hit the floor just right that it shattered. My boss is kind of a jerk, with a weird sense of humor. My coworker was teasing me, and my boss thought it would be funny to play along and pretend he was going to charge me for it. I posted this a little bit after it happened, before I talked to my boss, and I was pretty embarrassed, since I'm always so careful. The end of the story is that I will not have to pay for the shelf (we have tons of extras in the back, we won't miss one). Thanks for the support, everyone!

OP here. First of all, thanks everyone for commenting and everything, a lot of your comments were very helpful! Some clarification, we have talked about it before, and yes, I have met her parents as well as a lot of her family. Also, she has met my parents and family, and they know that we are together. The reason she has not told them has nothing to do with religion or because she is embarrassed by me. When we first started dating, she asked her parents what they would think if we started dating, and they effectively said "it would disgrace their family," so she just told them that we would not date, and since then, it seems that the topic hasn't come up with them again. The reason this whole topic came up is because, when her parents would call her, they would always talk about one of her exes, and how he was doing, (basically hinting that they wanted that relationship to happen again). After that happened a few times, I asked her about it, and she informed me that they actually didn't know about us being together. Her parents always comment on how nice I am, and how I am a good person. The problem with her parents is that they live in the past. Even though it is currently 2016, her parents can't accept a relationship where I happen to be black, and she happens to be white. As far as her parents are concerned, I am just her friend that happens to hang out with her a lot, as for everyone else, we are very happily in a relationship. Her parents and some of her family are the only people who are out of the loop. So, at this point, we are just not worrying about them and they will find out on a later date. I would like them to know eventually, but it just seems like that wont happen anytime soon. Feel free to leave comments if you want to know anything else!

Hey guys, OP here, thanks for the comments! I know I deserve it, drunk me is an idiot, and I think that's the last time I'm going to get drunk for a while... until drunk me knows that my roommate's left! As for other traps, I also found out this morning that I had put some salt in the sugar (which was discovered after taking a sip of coffee), and vaseline or something like that on the bathroom doorknob. Hopefully those are it, but I have a feeling that there's going to be more. My roommate moved out because he's moved to Ireland to be closer to his family, as he's been in England for about a year and a half but prefers Ireland. While he was here, we used to play pranks on each other a lot, but usually practical jokes like whoopee cushions or fake spiders in the other's bed. To be honest, it's a shame I didn't do this prank while he was still here! Thanks for all those who commented/voted on it. No feeling like knowing your fails are public ;D

OP here. I guess this needs a follow-up. I was in a sailing boat with some friends and although there were big waves, the wind wasn't too strong so we thought it would be safe sailing. We were wrong about that. An exceptionally big wave came up from behind. The boat started surfing uncontrollably down from it and eventually flipped. I was caught by a rope and dragged under water. Fortunately I had a safety knife strapped to my leg so I could cut myself free but it took some time and I lost consciousness before I could make it up. My friends dragged up on the upturned hull of our boat because they were unable to flip it back. The tide was rising so the current pushed us close to the shore. In the surf we were trown off again and because of the waves it was too dangerous to approach the boat again so my friends swam to the shore, dragging me behind them. I regained consciousness for a while but passed out again as soon as we made it to the beach. Hope this answers all your questions.