All the FMLs

By thechaos - 15/12/2014 22:24 - United States - Pittsfield

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 4 241

By jesspacheco27 - 15/12/2014 18:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 238

You deserved it 8 339

jesspacheco27 tells us more.

jesspacheco27 12

Tuesday 16 December 2014 3:10

She's Muslim I believe so they're into the covered hair no make-up, "covered up" look I guess.

Chatty cat

By Anonymous - 15/12/2014 16:07 - Australia

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 520

You deserved it 3 232

You freak!

By LonelyGuy - 15/12/2014 11:59 - Australia

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 131

You deserved it 9 581

By dawg - 15/12/2014 03:50 - United States - Stuart

Today, I found out that the "IRS scam" that I ignored last week was actually not a scam, and now I have a warrant out for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 714

You deserved it 7 041

By AsianSensation - 15/12/2014 03:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 116

You deserved it 2 952

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 558

You deserved it 6 242

By endure_survive - 15/12/2014 03:17 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 540

You deserved it 3 079

endure_survive tells us more.

endure_survive 11

Monday 15 December 2014 10:22

Sweet onion chicken teriyaki And also, thanks everyone for the nice comments

By BFons - 15/12/2014 02:07 - United States - Newark

Today, my wife and I are about to move across the country when the landlord for our new house called and said a water line busted and flooded the house. The movers are coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 932

You deserved it 2 146

Thanks, I hate it

By I'm Trading Up For A Dog - 14/12/2014 20:28 - Finland - Pori

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 673

You deserved it 6 243

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 11:55 - Australia

Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 614

You deserved it 4 890

By wallamanut - 14/12/2014 07:50 - United States - Portland

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 885

You deserved it 2 857

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 07:19 - United States - Reno

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 258

You deserved it 28 870

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 07:07 - Canada - London

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 881

You deserved it 5 054

By konacoffee17 - 14/12/2014 05:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 678

You deserved it 3 072

By ashamed - 14/12/2014 02:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 142

You deserved it 3 256

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 01:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 876

You deserved it 4 402

By Anonymous - 13/12/2014 20:21 - United States

Today, after months of saving, I went to buy the wedding ring I promised to buy my fiancée. Just seconds after I walked in, the owner asked me to leave, saying he doesn't serve "trash" like me, while pointing at the memorial tattoo on the back of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 863

You deserved it 3 753

Elaborate

By ehxtraordinarily pissed - 13/12/2014 18:36 - United States - Coweta

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "Eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 032

You deserved it 3 393

By Anonymous - 13/12/2014 16:19 - United States - Memphis

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 988

You deserved it 3 089

By 1Nsan3 - 13/12/2014 06:27 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 355

You deserved it 3 662

1Nsan3 tells us more.

1Nsan3 11

Sunday 14 December 2014 7:47

Op here forgot to mention name tags break company dress code sadly

By Anonymous - 13/12/2014 05:05 - United States - San Diego

Today, I came home to find out my roommate sold my PS4, because, "You don't use it anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 191

You deserved it 2 853

By driven_crazy - 12/12/2014 19:52 - United States - Newark

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 894

You deserved it 7 990

By Anonymous - 12/12/2014 18:46 - United States

Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 125

You deserved it 2 787

By PyroSam - 12/12/2014 18:07 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 760

You deserved it 3 015

PyroSam tells us more.

PyroSam 21

Saturday 13 December 2014 10:48

Here's the full story (just saying this is my first FML that has been published. Yay!). First off, we'd had a fight and he'd stormed out of the house. I believe he went out with his friends and got drunk out of his mind, which is probably where the midnight Christmas breakup idea came from. The carollers were surprisingly supportive, and I didn't even have to tip them. The next morning I received a grovelling voice message, which I subsequently ignored. I think I'm done with that relationship now, but hats off to his originality.

By lateralligator - 12/12/2014 16:35 - Canada - Whitchurch-stouffville

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 996

You deserved it 4 605

By galladore - 12/12/2014 15:17 - United States - Bensenville

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 504

You deserved it 4 933

By Che_likes_you - 12/12/2014 15:15 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 132

You deserved it 2 857

By Anonymous - 12/12/2014 14:45 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 695

You deserved it 6 019

By well, now what - 12/12/2014 14:39 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 164

You deserved it 42 209

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Drunk Weddings AITA Awkward Sex Intimacy Work Miscellaneous Party Shopping Landlords Family Cute My ex Vacation Roommate Poopoo peepee Weird Transportation Cars Accident Ironic Cancer Relatable Proposal Empathy Bosses Dogs

The Top

Today, I went into a cafe only to be greeted by a young boy who pulled down my leggings in line. Everyone got a look at my pink Hello Kitty panties with white frilly trimming before scrambling to pick them up. In the process, I banged my head on the counter, and fell on the floor, unconscious, pants still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 61

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 10

The Top

Today, I spent an hour cleaning up cat hair from every surface in my house, only for my cat to immediately jump up on the counter and shed her fur all over again. I guess I'll just admit defeat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 375

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 880

You deserved it 5 185

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it, so she did it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 304

You deserved it 1 062

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 544

You deserved it 4 267

Today, I had to do a still life of a pillowcase for my drawing class. To make up for bad grades I've gotten before, I followed my professor's directions to a T. He took 19 points off because I drew the background when no one else did. We have to do it for every piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 896

You deserved it 274

Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 126

You deserved it 5 609