All the FMLs

By eamiller - 23/12/2014 20:41 - United States - Franklin

Today, I was complimented on my freckles. I don't actually have freckles, just a load of blackheads that won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 748

You deserved it 3 794

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 495

You deserved it 4 657

Bad guest

By Unknown - 23/12/2014 18:25 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 678

You deserved it 3 047

By Anonymous - 23/12/2014 18:24 - United States - Waxhaw

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 964

You deserved it 3 073

By got any coupons? - 23/12/2014 15:24 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 973

You deserved it 3 406

By anonymous - 23/12/2014 11:28 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 288

You deserved it 4 717

But…

By I hate my job - 23/12/2014 08:14 - Canada - Delta

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 358

You deserved it 3 109

The sad truth

By Soulara89 - 23/12/2014 01:28 - United States - Orlando

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 684

You deserved it 5 286

By bakerysux - 23/12/2014 01:21 - United States - San Antonio

Today, at work, a customer cried because the cake I made her was not "exactly" the same as the display. I'm the one who made the display and it was the same but the display cake had faded a bit, since it had been there for a month. I'd mentioned this to the customer when she placed the order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 552

You deserved it 2 218

By trippybmth - 23/12/2014 00:54 - United States

Today, after doing tons of research on a wand my little brother wanted for Christmas, I finally found one on eBay for $60. After already giving my credit card info and confirming the purchase, my dad called me and told me he found the exact same one for six bucks at a local toy store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 709

You deserved it 6 926

By thanksmom - 22/12/2014 23:15 - United States - Watertown

Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 062

You deserved it 2 637

By koolkat9 - 22/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Albion

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 027

You deserved it 3 311

By bxjxj - 22/12/2014 18:40 - United States

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 256

You deserved it 3 227

By Anonymous - 22/12/2014 16:27 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I spent a quarter of an hour trying to figure out why my car wouldn't unlock, then why my number plate had changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 125

You deserved it 26 002

By cwhitney7 - 22/12/2014 15:04 - United States - Waltham

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 772

You deserved it 13 350

By Bahhumbug - 22/12/2014 14:24 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 713

You deserved it 4 300

By ScottyB - 22/12/2014 08:05 - United States - Peabody

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 736

You deserved it 6 624

By Anonymous - 22/12/2014 07:53 - United States - Mooresville

Today, immediately after being informed of the sketchy activities that take place in our store parking lot after dark, I'm handed an orange vest and told to go out there to retrieve carts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 2 522

By Stupid - 22/12/2014 07:45 - Australia - Bellerive

Today, I waited thirty minutes for a bus that stopped running three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 331

You deserved it 6 802

By Retailhell - 22/12/2014 06:25 - United States

Today, since it's company policy, I had to go to the back of my small store to retrieve an item for a customer, even though I was working by myself. I came back to find that since she couldn't get into the cash register, she found and stole my purse instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 422

You deserved it 3 428

Good omens, etc.

By scoold - 21/12/2014 22:02 - United States - Dover

Today, my boss sent me a link on how to write a good resignation letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 723

You deserved it 2 972

By JillianJuneBug - 21/12/2014 21:15 - United States - Standish

Today, my school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have my teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 362

You deserved it 25 339

JillianJuneBug tells us more.

JillianJuneBug 39

Tuesday 23 December 2014 3:48

Hey this is OP, I made an account to comment and shed a little light on the situation. Yes, I go to public school, and yes we have to pay fines for damaged or missing books. The thing is, the back cover was only barely hanging on and it snapped off while I was taking it out of my bag. I put down in the original FML that it came off due to being worn.