By Anonymous - 16/08/2014 02:16 - Australia - Notting Hill
All the FMLs
By Anonymous - 15/08/2014 21:35 - United States - Green Lane
By thoughthewasjoking - 15/08/2014 21:10 - United States - Bessemer
Need a bib?
By Anonymous - 15/08/2014 05:06 - United States - Arlington Heights
By HauntedTwilight - 15/08/2014 01:09 - Canada - Mount Uniacke
HauntedTwilight tells us more.
By winstonweigand - 14/08/2014 22:40 - United States - Olympia
winstonweigand tells us more.
Hey y'all it's OP here. This story was actually from a few years back, but someone asked me about the nasty scar on my leg and it reminded me of this event and how pathetic it was. This is how it happened: My family was cleaning out all the cupboards in our kitchen, and when it came to the cans, my dad would open them, empty them and then throw the can in the trash. He tends to not give a shit about Mother Nature. I was tasked with taking the trash out. The can was at the bottom of the bag, facing outwards, and the bag was stretched tight, but it didn't split open so the can wasn't protruding. I was swinging the bag back and forth because I was happy we were done, but when it hit my leg I felt a funny tickling feeling, only to look down and see blood gushing out of a large wound in my leg. Naturally, I was hysterical, because I had no idea how it had happened. The story actually gets funnier from here. In my panic, I ran inside to my family, but since I was bleeding so much, I slipped on my own blood upon entering the kitchen and slammed into a wall head first. I never felt pain throughout the whole thing because of all the adrenaline. Next thing I knew I was in the hospital getting an anesthetic shot DIRECTLY into the gash, followed by a bunch of stitches. Your comments were really funny hahaha, and yeah, we should have recycled, but I was just following my dad's orders! When I'm on my own, I always recycle. I guess Mother Nature punishes those who associate with environment criminals as well :)
By oops - 14/08/2014 21:54 - United States
By Anonymous - 14/08/2014 21:13 - Canada - Sudbury
By Anonymous - 14/08/2014 19:50 - United States - Powell
By UnSupported - 14/08/2014 15:28 - United States - North Kingstown
By hopeless romantic - 14/08/2014 15:06 - United States - Dayton
Cutting corners
By givemestrength - 14/08/2014 10:31 - United Kingdom - London
By BrokeBride - 14/08/2014 07:15 - United States - Hudson
By Anonymous - 14/08/2014 04:38 - France
By fatty - 14/08/2014 03:46 - United States - Madison
By Anonymous - 14/08/2014 03:02 - New Zealand
Asshat
By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 14:18 - United Kingdom - Paignton
Three's a crowd
By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 11:33 - Australia - Rooty Hill
By Muwz - 13/08/2014 04:28 - France
By ragingwaffles - 13/08/2014 04:25 - United States - Chico
By rabidfairy - 13/08/2014 02:04 - United States - San Francisco
rabidfairy tells us more.
yes, you are correct. we've been friends since childhood and I've always known he was gay. just my luck that my heart would have none of it :/
Kill me now
By bademployee - 12/08/2014 23:16 - United States - Portland
By facefuckedguy - 12/08/2014 21:23 - Australia - Brisbane
By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 17:55 - United States - Newport
By jake - 12/08/2014 10:21 - Australia - Sydney
By theshire - 12/08/2014 06:23 - France - Nice
By kirstyrd - 12/08/2014 06:07 - United States - Germfask
By vicious_fashion - 12/08/2014 05:34 - United States - Meridian
vicious_fashion tells us more.
Thank you everyone for your comments. To clarify, my sister is 15 and it was an accidental hand slamming while in the heat of her argument that I was "copying her style". (Which is why you should never slam doors or break things when you're mad! Use your words!)
By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 00:34 - United States - Columbus
By marcranger - 11/08/2014 23:40 - United States - Denver
marcranger tells us more.
Hey all, OP here! Glad to see I made some of you laugh...I wish I could say the same about my cousin, his wife, and my aunt and uncle (the proud first-time grandparents)! At least my dad, who I was staying with for this event (I live up in the mountains, but this was in Denver), laughed his ass off when everyone else was out of earshot and said he honestly felt the same way (and since I was a baby once...thanks, Dad?). Oh, well. At the very least, I think the new parents will avoid me like the plague at future gatherings, even ones specifically planned to honor the new addition (oops), and this might get my relatives to back off about when exactly I'm making my own contribution to the family line.
Keywords
Hey, OP here :) I've never experienced any side effects from medication (until now), and when the doctor and I went over the side effects together he kind of chuckled when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur". The medication is cymbalta (anti-depressant) so I took it as a joke that an anti-depressant could cause such a side effect, and when he chuckled I really thought he was kidding. I was clearly wrong, haha. Luckily, I was able to bolt home before anything extremely bad happened. My dog enjoyed the quick run a lot more than I did. Still easily one of the most embarrassing days of my life! I've earned the nickname "Shitty pants" from my 61 year old father who is never going to let me forget this. Shitty situation all around! :P