By seth7_ - 18/01/2014 07:14 - United States - Dunedin
All the FMLs
seth7_ tells us more.
By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs
By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 03:48 - United States
By Anonymous - 17/01/2014 23:52 - United Kingdom
By SqueakingRetard - 17/01/2014 23:28 - Canada - Barrie
By Anonymous - 17/01/2014 22:21 - Canada - Surrey
By Anonymous - 17/01/2014 18:38 - United States - Spring Hill
By my cheese grater + your dick - 17/01/2014 17:35 - Canada - Saskatoon
By crap - 17/01/2014 16:24 - United States - Mansfield
By dylanhollis - 17/01/2014 12:49 - United States - San Antonio
By Fire sucks. - 17/01/2014 03:42 - United States
By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield
By nolovefor21 - 16/01/2014 11:45 - Australia - Wentworthville
nolovefor21 tells us more.
OP here, I didnt "hack" into her account really, I asked her if I could use her account to try and plan myself a surprise party.. Mainly because Ive always wanted one but never had anyone step up to do it. She gave me her password so I could do it. But apparently that was a waste of time according to my mother...
By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 01:57 - United States - Philadelphia
By JaneChemi - 15/01/2014 21:47 - United States - San Francisco
JaneChemi_fml tells us more.
hi guys. when I found out I ran out of the bathroom holding a pregnancy test screaming "holy ******* shit babe I'm pregnant". I'm not sure I can really do much else to convince him. wait.... how did I deserve this??
By coop42 - 15/01/2014 19:22 - United States - Hortonville
Red flag
By Anonymous - 15/01/2014 18:25 - Italy - Pistoia
By Anonymous - 15/01/2014 15:05 - United States - Bellflower
By Pop - 15/01/2014 02:38 - United States - New York
By chiktikka - 14/01/2014 22:06 - United Kingdom
By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 21:09 - United States
By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 18:30 - United States - Katy
By ===== - 14/01/2014 17:59 - Pakistan - Karachi
By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 16:15 - United Kingdom - Chester
By rholt - 14/01/2014 06:48 - United States - Baldwin City
By ShelterForTheHomless - 14/01/2014 03:31 - United States - Anaheim
perdix tells us more.
#41, yes, but I only know the shenanigans hobos play on male victims, and, yes, I'm still bitter that FML didn't publish that one.
By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 20:35 - United States - New Iberia
By danny395 - 13/01/2014 15:37 - United Kingdom
danny395 tells us more.
OP here this is the first time I've had a post accepted so i thought i should elaborate because I hate it when people don't explain. The reason I wasn't wearing glasses is I've been assured by many people that I look pretty stupid in my glasses and I thought it would be best to make a good first impression (I know its vain but I wanted to impress). I also only put one contact lens in so my left eye was fine but my sight is so bad (-6.25 if your'e interested) that i cant see anything at all without my glasses + Im fairly tall and live on the top floor with some crazily steep stairs so its pretty hard to get down in the best of times but a mix of the pain plus bad sight meant i slipped and sent myself into the wall. I realise I should have washed my hands first but i was in a rush and i didn't want to be late, kind of ironic considering I ended up being about an hour late trying to sort out this particular mess. Worse of all I ended up wearing my glasses anyway... In defence I've been assured by my flatmate that the girl is really nice but not very outgoing and quite shy, she didn't really want to be there and I was so late I can understand she left when I arrived looking like I'd been in a couple of MMA fights... And #3 I appreciate you seeing the irony in 'blind' date :)
By OvertonHippie - 13/01/2014 12:09 - United States - Corinth
OvertonHippie tells us more.
What she doesn't realize is that in a school with only 180 students, it's impossible to get away with stuff like that. The principal knows what's up, because we dealt with similar issues last year; I just didn't think I was going to have to schedule meetings with the teachers again about it (outside of the regular parent-teacher conferences, which she attends). I *had* kind of noticed the teachers giving me the stink-eye in the car line lately though.
Pissed
By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach
Keywords
In the process of training, he's a puppy though. My wife was supposed to be watching him but something came up.