Ironic

Sometimes negativity is good

By Not again!!! - 11/11/2024 03:00 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, my friend told me, "Just think positive!" to lift my mood. I unconvincingly replied, "Sure thing." An hour later, something positive did happen. When I took a Covid test. Maybe positivity just isn’t my thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 92

Hurry up!

By lukey101 - 29/12/2023 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I increased my internet plan to help speed up downloading a giant 600GB file. After paying for the upgrade, I got a notification that the plan change wouldn’t be effected until 24 hours later. Of course, it actually upgraded mere moments after the file download had already completed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 421

Irony stress

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 06:00

Today, someone stole my Amazon delivery of stress balls from my apartment’s mail room. Now I’m more stressed than before about my stuff getting stolen, and have no stress ball to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 126

Karma wins again

By Anonymous - 18/11/2024 20:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, as I was sitting at a bus stop, I spilled Pepsi on my shirt while texting my friend about how clumsy people are, after seeing someone walk into a trash can. Irony isn’t dead, but my dignity is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 442

This is going to suck

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I, an extreme social introvert, who can’t stand being around people for more than 10 minutes, has just been diagnosed with an incurable brain disorder that will increasingly require other people to be around me to monitor me and run my life. All of which, to me, feels worse than having the disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 155

What were the chances?

By stpry of my life - 27/02/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 year-old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 094

You deserved it 7 008

Cunning stunt

By Anonymous - 01/10/2023 21:00 - Cyprus - Limassol

Today, I asked my wife for a divorce, after I tried everything to save our marriage, and it was a gut-wrenching decision. I tried easing her into it, but she instantly agreed. She had packing boxed ready to move out. Now I suspect she was sabotaging our marriage for months so I'd call it quits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 128

Thin skinned

By cbad - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 150

You deserved it 48 787

Activism but with cupcakes

By feminismlol - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 151

You deserved it 29 793

Check your privilege, bucko

By nepotism gets you everything - 07/05/2022 20:00 - Australia - Epping

Today, while struggling to find a job that will accommodate my disabilities, an acquaintance ranted at me about how nobody wants to work hard, and they have to earn what they get. This chucklefuck works for his father, will inherit a multi-million dollar business, and bought his house from his aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 150

Alexa, play "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette

By irony, huh? - 20/10/2019 14:00

Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 108

Superficial

By where's the logic? - 25/12/2022 09:00

Today, my girlfriend and I are fighting because I refuse to buy a new car. Apparently, I should put myself balls-deep in debt instead of hunting for a bargain, because it's "embarrassing" for me to buy a used car. This coming from the woman who tries to reuse bath water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 167

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 964

You deserved it 3 203

Ungrateful, dude!

By Anonymous - 24/05/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to surprise me by bringing homemade dinner over. I've been living off of ham sandwiches for over a week because I've been too busy and tired from work to cook. Of all the things she could have made, what did she make? Ham sandwiches. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 233

DMV blues

By HellisLikeTheDMV - 13/07/2012 15:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 694

You deserved it 27 291

Karma

By anon - 10/10/2023 10:00

Today, to get my coworker fired, I spiked his coffee with whiskey. Joke's on me, he's apparently enough of a drunk that it didn't affect him. ThenI dropped the bottle as I was leaving for the day, cut up my ankle, and I'm now suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 2 125

Smash the patriarchy

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend started avoiding going down on me ever since he found an ingrowing hair down there. The only reason I have an ingrowing hair is because he didn’t like my pubes, and stopped having sex with me at all until I shaved it off, thus causing the ingrowing hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 324

You deserved it 352

I'm listening

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 08:00

Today, and for the last week of job training, I’ve listened to my new boss go on about how we care about our customers and want to engage with our community, even though at the end of every workday I watch him empty the complaints boxes straight into recycling, without reading a single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 76

Swings and roundabouts

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, despite being the fittest member of my family, with a good exercise routine and a decent diet, I'm the only one who was just diagnosed with diabetes. Meanwhile, the rest of my family are fat, lazy slobs who eat like shit, but are otherwise healthy as horses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 285

You deserved it 384

Butchered

By Dentist woes - 29/07/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, during a brutal two and half hour dental procedure, the dentist kept saying my gums were inflamed, and bleeding a lot. The clichéd "You need to floss more!" tirade. After she was done, my gums were purple, bruised, and had a visible cut on them. But sure, the bleeding was from me not flossing enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 156

Snowflake

By Bullocks - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Rochester

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 4 535

Irony on base level

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 11:01 - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, my boyfriend has been grumpy for days, because his essay on society's fixation with performance, winning awards and getting good grades got a somewhat disappointing grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 120

Zero stars on Trip Advisor

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I finally got to sit down for dinner after a long day. In a truck stop restaurant, which specializes in "We don’t have that" or "Serve yourself, despite this being a sit down restaurant." The good news is that they charge more than fast food for less service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 96

Virtue signalling

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 12:00

Today, I stumbled upon a few of my former uni classmates’ social media profiles, all sharing anti-bullying posts and adding sad comments. Really thoughtful of them, if you ignore the fact that these same classmates bullied me relentlessly during my college years, causing me to take antidepressants daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 158

Dude, gross!

By Mojo0608 - 02/11/2014 21:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 287

You deserved it 2 540

Pot meet kettle

By anon - 24/06/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight because I bought two new makeup palettes. He ranted that I have too much already, it all looks the same, and that I’m a hoarder. Last month he threatened to break up with me for throwing out condiments that were two years past their expiration dates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 238

Do as I say, not as I do

By Gracie - 24/05/2019 12:02

Today, I was having a cigarette in a smoking area when a mother with a pram strode towards me and exaggerated a cough to make some sort of point. Reluctantly, I put it out and walked off. I then turned around to see her lighting up a cigarette, and blowing smoke all over her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 030

You deserved it 305

Karma?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 17:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the day after I bragged about never having a car accident in my life, I mistakenly put my car into Drive instead of Reverse and crashed into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 519

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 15:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend is mad at his landlady because she hasn’t followed through yet on the new front door she promised a month ago. He, on the other hand, has neither cleaned the toilet, nor washed any dishes since he moved in. Which was… a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 177

Horrible

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 03:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I got told once again that I’m being a horrible mother by letting a man move in with me. We recently got engaged after 6 years together. Meanwhile, my ex has a new girlfriend practically every other month and forced our kids to call multiple women “Mommy.” Yeah, I’m the bad guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 135

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 697

The Top

Today, I used one of my ex-coworkers as a reference. She gave a really bad review about me, causing me to miss out on the job opportunity of a lifetime, all because she’s still upset I wore the same dress as her at the company holiday gala two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 293

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 590

You deserved it 3 792

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 527

You deserved it 3 160

Today, I found out that just because you collapse from dehydration on the sidewalk, it doesn't mean people are going to stop driving to see if you're okay, even if they saw you fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 216

You deserved it 6 919

Today, I went to the hospital for wrenching pains in my abdomen. It turns out I have the largest "non removable" kidney stone my doctor has ever seen. It's the size of a fucking walnut. I have to pass the thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 121

Today, I realised that my friend and I have the same cute, round belly. The problem is that she’s seven months pregnant and I’ve been on a diet with an intensive gym program since January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 223