Kids

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 04:47 - United States - Norwalk

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 774

You deserved it 2 719

You tried

By well okay then - 10/09/2012 04:39 - United States

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 007

You deserved it 3 460

By amusedslovenia - 07/09/2012 18:19 - Slovenia

Today, for the third day in a row, my 10-month-old is refusing to eat any of the meals that I prepare for him. He will however eat anything semi-edible lying on the floor, cat kibble included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 461

You deserved it 2 539

amusedslovenia tells us more.

amusedslovenia 5

Saturday 8 September 2012 18:24

OP here... My son is 10 months old. I'm really at my wits' end. He had been a good eater from the start, unlike his older brother who I couldn't get to eat anything either. I set out to feed my kids all organic, home-made, fresh and so forth. I gave up with my first after having spent literally hours a day preparing healthy, nutritious and yes, tasty foods that he wouldn't touch beyond a spoon or two. My two year old grew fine on very little food and now eats the same we do. My younger. however, is tiny for his age - he wears clothes for 3mo (but developing normally, thank God, and the pedi's not concerned). I can only get him to taste a spoon of something and then it's over. But anything he picks up from the floor (bread crumbs, and yes, cat kibble (food), he will eat. And scream when I take it away from him. Maybe he's on a strike or teething or... I don't know. Maybe I should start placing food on the floor for him LOL.

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 05:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 739

You deserved it 3 339

By Chouse - 07/09/2012 01:56 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 804

You deserved it 2 694

By The Horrible Older Sister - 02/09/2012 10:07 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 340

You deserved it 32 695

By Anonymous - 28/08/2012 04:29 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 830

You deserved it 6 542

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 21:40 - Ireland - Kilkelly

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 019

You deserved it 1 687

By Demetria - 20/08/2012 22:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 512

You deserved it 4 809

By Anonymous - 19/08/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 769

You deserved it 5 951

By yoggabe - 18/08/2012 20:34 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 545

You deserved it 2 352

Chill out, dude

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 00:55 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 056

You deserved it 4 674

Now we cook

By JAdams - 13/08/2012 00:49 - United States - Newkirk

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 647

You deserved it 2 948

Worst babysitter ever

By shira512 - 10/08/2012 23:59 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 244

You deserved it 4 050

Guys, I'm here!

By nalathelionqueen - 10/08/2012 22:44 - United States - North Hills

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 594

You deserved it 3 096

By bellabreeze - 09/08/2012 03:29 - United States - Lebanon

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 138

You deserved it 3 361

By milf - 06/08/2012 01:10 - United States - Muncie

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 200

You deserved it 5 248

By Kolkata - 05/08/2012 23:25 - Canada

Today, my son surprised me on my birthday with tickets to a concert I really wanted to see. I was excited, especially since I planned to buy them but couldn't due to the fact it was too expensive. I was ecstatic, until I found out he'd stolen my credit card to buy them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 650

You deserved it 2 335

Kids these days…

By daughter - 05/08/2012 07:49 - United States - Kailua

Today, since I'm still recovering from my surgery and can't drive, my daughter drove me to the doctor. When I was done and walked outside, she was nowhere to be seen. Then I got a text, saying, "Sorry, I forgot I have to be somewhere." The closest bus stop to our house is miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 881

You deserved it 2 383

By Anonymous - 04/08/2012 23:04 - United States

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 144

You deserved it 7 347

By me - 04/08/2012 19:14 - Canada - Debert

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 195

You deserved it 26 877

By pimpslaprequired - 04/08/2012 01:52 - United States

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 013

You deserved it 4 875

Hot tub

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 08:21 - United States - Montebello

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 088

You deserved it 2 692

By Anonymous - 02/08/2012 14:12 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 494

You deserved it 3 063

Pleasant

By daddydaughterWTF - 02/08/2012 00:06 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 591

You deserved it 2 642

By 1D-107 - 31/07/2012 17:43 - United States - Logan

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 566

You deserved it 2 480

By mcase - 31/07/2012 05:36 - United States - Compton

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 227

You deserved it 4 984

By oink oink fuck off - 29/07/2012 18:49 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 960

You deserved it 3 718

What's up doc?

By fml - 29/07/2012 12:20 - Japan - Koshigaya

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 684

You deserved it 5 852

By ellieowenie - 29/07/2012 08:11 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 762

You deserved it 3 439

Keywords

Sex Intimacy Health Love Cute Kids Parents Hair Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Embarrassing Scams Annoying Money Work Awkward Skincare Insects Animals Cats Neighbours Dating First Dates Alcohol Students Miscellaneous Fight Parenting AITA Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 905

You deserved it 13 915

Today, it’s my honeymoon. I waited patiently for a year and a half to have sex since I respected her “No sex before marriage” rule. However, my new wife has a new rule: “Sex is for procreation and I’m not ready to have children yet.” How much longer should I wait to make love to the one I love now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 425

The Top

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 318

You deserved it 14 181

Today, I told my family that I’m pregnant. My sister is upset and refuses to accept she’ll have to help with the baby. I’m a single mom going to college and living at home, and will need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 2 234

Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 081

You deserved it 1 650

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 486

You deserved it 2 845

Today, at my Grandfather's funeral, my Grandmother decided it would be a good time to tell the story of the time she went to a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 137

You deserved it 1 783

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really liked. He spent the whole time talking about his pet iguana and how it's the love of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 172