Miscellaneous

By thanks a lot mom - 28/12/2014 06:52 - United States - Sloughhouse

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 178

You deserved it 3 425

By idkgiraffes - 28/12/2014 03:57 - United States - Everett

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 475

You deserved it 3 333

idkgiraffes tells us more.

idkgiraffes 12

Sunday 28 December 2014 19:36

OP here, she eventually caved and gave it to me but she said "if House of Cards randomly stops, I know who to blame."

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 22:38 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 507

You deserved it 39 010

By Lokiara - 26/12/2014 06:18 - United States

Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 528

You deserved it 6 561

Lokiara tells us more.

Lokiara 10

Friday 26 December 2014 20:47

I'm OP. No, I do not live at home. I haven't lived at home in 5 years. I currently live in a different country and I am in my home country for the holidays. I preemptively tell my parents where I go because they tend to ask that question when I leave the house. It might be the fact that I am female, but I don't really know for certain.

Merry Xmas

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 05:59 - United States - Jeromesville

Today, a friend had invited me to Christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there, she told me that her and her husband had forgotten they had another dinner to go to, and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 204

You deserved it 2 903

By Anonymous - 25/12/2014 21:00 - United States

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 130

You deserved it 2 625

By anonymous - 24/12/2014 23:56 - United States

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 010

You deserved it 3 987

By PikidiliJo - 24/12/2014 19:23 - United States

Today, I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so for a laugh, I got up and quietly pennied the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decided to let him out. Turned out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 859

You deserved it 31 185

PikidiliJo tells us more.

PikidiliJo 12

Thursday 25 December 2014 8:25

It was actually in the morning. I woke up and the bathroom light was on.

By now what - 24/12/2014 05:56 - United States - San Leandro

Today, my husband came home with a Christmas gift from a coworker. It's the same thing I got him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 122

You deserved it 3 375

By wowdadreally - 23/12/2014 20:46 - United States - College Station

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 715

You deserved it 6 477

By anonymous - 23/12/2014 11:28 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 290

You deserved it 4 717

By thanksmom - 22/12/2014 23:15 - United States - Watertown

Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 068

You deserved it 2 637

By bxjxj - 22/12/2014 18:40 - United States

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 265

You deserved it 3 231

By JillianJuneBug - 21/12/2014 21:15 - United States - Standish

Today, my school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have my teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 362

You deserved it 25 339

JillianJuneBug tells us more.

JillianJuneBug 39

Tuesday 23 December 2014 3:48

Hey this is OP, I made an account to comment and shed a little light on the situation. Yes, I go to public school, and yes we have to pay fines for damaged or missing books. The thing is, the back cover was only barely hanging on and it snapped off while I was taking it out of my bag. I put down in the original FML that it came off due to being worn.

By Anonymous - 21/12/2014 08:51 - Australia - Elwood

Today, I noticed that even though I got all my Christmas shopping done a month earlier than usual, I forgot to put anything in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 366

You deserved it 8 313

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 14:41 - Australia - Edgecliff

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 096

You deserved it 2 897

By cantunhear - 20/12/2014 03:16 - United States - Fishkill

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 236

You deserved it 2 464

By embarrassed - 19/12/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 555

You deserved it 3 930

By subversivepanda - 18/12/2014 12:11 - Guam - Hagatna

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 380

You deserved it 3 419

subversivepanda tells us more.

subversivepanda 7

Friday 19 December 2014 14:31

Hey guys! OP here! i realized that i forgot a detail. So usually, for our AP Literature exams, we get copies of practice AP exams from previous years (you know, the AP Exams at the end of the year). So for those, you literally CANNOT study. Like, there is no way to study for them since they cover practically anything and everything related to Literature.

By drbckflps - 18/12/2014 00:48 - Australia - Mount Gravatt

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 922

You deserved it 2 977

drbckflps tells us more.

drbckflps 22

Friday 19 December 2014 7:35

I haven't read all the comments yet but thank you for your condolences. This is indeed the grandmother of my son and no, she didn't take the holiday as a way of grieving - it was purely opportunistic. She wasn't even polite to us at the funeral: her words to me were, "In six months when I get back you'll have forgotten this whole thing ever happened." Very disappointing. Thank you all again. I'll reply again when I get a chance to read some more comments.

By RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) - 17/12/2014 18:47 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 891

You deserved it 6 639