Public freakouts

Fight Club

By x_o - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Hungary - Öttevény

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 954

You deserved it 3 943

Ready to rumble

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saint John

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 209

You deserved it 21 676

Just another day

By Anonymous - 27/04/2022 18:00

Today, I was thrown out of a pub and when the owner was sure no one else could hear him, he whispered in my ear how dare I, "a filthy n****r", set foot in his pub, and if it was up to him "they'd bring back lynchings for my sort." The police didn't do anything, because there was no evidence he'd said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 269

Fighting talk

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 18:00

Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 882

Wokescolds gonna wokescold

By DisneyGal - 22/04/2022 18:00

Today, I was screamed at by a girl, all because I wore a pride-themed Mickey Mouse shirt. Apparently, I’m supporting “hypocritical capitalist freaks” who profit off LGBT people, yet support anti-LGBT legislation. Also, she commented about my Starbucks drink, another “anti-LGBT company.” I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 368

STRANGER DANGER!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 121

Never sneak up

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 14:01

Today, I was listening to some music before school started, which is why I didn't hear my teacher sneak up behind me. When she laid her hand on my shoulder, of course I accidentally punch her in the face. Her nose bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 862

Killjoy was hear

By barsituation - 03/01/2022 11:01 - United States

Today, I got kicked out of my favorite pub. I yelled at the group behind me for being annoying. They were extremely irritating, singing songs and cheering, but the manager decided to kick me out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 477

Welcome to the family

By this is why I drink! - 27/12/2021 22:59

Today, I reluctantly agreed to bring my boyfriend home to meet my family. He said he wasn’t easily scared and could handle a “weird” family. Two hours later, there was a massive brawl when one uncle hit the other’s wife after she threw wine in his face. Tables were flipped, cops were called. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 149

The harder they come

By andre - 24/12/2021 20:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, after training for six months in martial arts, I was ready to stand up against my bully. When he approached me. I found out the hard way he’s been doing martial arts since he was six. I didn’t know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 457

Crazy people

By nowhere to go - 12/12/2021 14:01

Today, I was stuck in the drive-thru line from hell. The guy in front of me started freaking out and demanded that I back out so he could pull out. I tried to tell him there were cars behind me, but that didn’t stop him from getting out of his car and kicking out my headlights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 98

Red flags popping up all over the place

By Jackie - 01/10/2021 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that his best friend of 10 years is giving him the silent treatment because he told her he's in a relationship. He's become a depressed wreck. When I asked him if he's secretly in love with her or something, he flipped a table over and told me to, "mind my own fucking business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 176

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 23:00

Today, we live in a world where 10 people on a bus will ignore a man slapping his wife so hard, she falls out of her seat, yet when that same man has a coughing fit, the same 10 people all get mad at him for not wearing a mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 148

Freakout

By anonymous - 21/07/2021 00:01

Today, my soon-to-be step-daughter had as absolute meltdown at our rehearsal dinner, screaming that I ruined her family. Her parents were divorced 10 years before I even met him. Her mother was there because we’re friends. She’s 23 years-old. I honestly don’t know which one of us was more embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 93

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 14/06/2021 22:01

Today, I got home to some mad woman in my yard screaming about pregnancy and rape, and I almost had a heart attack thinking my son was being accused of some terrible crime. Turns out she was accusing my 15-year-old tomcat of impregnating her prize winning white fluff-ball of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 127

The joys of public transport

By InPain - 17/10/2019 16:00

Today, while riding the train, some druggie got into a dispute with some random passengers. Even though I didn't even look at them fighting, he decided I was a threat and punched me, a pregnant woman, and some bikers. Now I've got a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 147

Dash!

By pokeOww - 13/09/2019 22:00

Today, my brother thought it'd be hilarious to tease a group of Pokémon players. They thought it'd be hilarious to beat both our asses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 1 452

Chill out Jen

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 16:00

Today, I was at an outdoor market with my family. We'd had dinner and were about to leave when two women stood next to our table, smoking. We called out to let them know they could have it, as we were leaving. They thought we were complaining about the smoke. They yelled at us and stormed off, while the other tables stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 178

Rumbled

By Anonymous - 22/07/2019 18:00

Today, while on a beach with my boyfriend, with whom I've been with for three years, I went on his phone to find a restaurant I'd sent him on Instagram. Instead, I found countless messages to other women, trying to slide into their DMs. Needless to say, everyone on that beach got a free show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 025

You deserved it 239

Freakout

By Anonymous - 18/06/2019 03:10

Today, I'm in my mid-twenties and just learned that I still start crying in confusing situations. I found this out by getting the wrong train in a foreign country, and then having the conductor come and tell me my ticket was only valid for the other direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 280

Chair club

By Eleanor - 06/05/2019 08:00 - United States - North Grafton

Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 677

You deserved it 149

But now…

By Anonymous - 05/09/2018 08:30 - United States - Sewell

Today, my mother-in-law insisted we go to a baby clothing store. When I reminded her that I don’t want children, she sat on the floor, crying, kicking and screaming. She then said I was denying her grandchildren because I hate her. Well, I didn’t… FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 780

You deserved it 205

Psycho

By Anonymous - 24/08/2016 12:16

Today, my dad's psycho ex broke in and had a meltdown about how he's dating another woman now. She's barely 100 pounds, yet it took me and my brother several minutes and one smashed shin to finally manage to drag her out of the house, all while my dad called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 585

You deserved it 984

Slight hiccup

By really - 05/06/2016 21:40 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 608

You deserved it 1 032

Stressed out

By coloring is not for me - 10/11/2015 05:52 - United States

Today, in an attempt to lower my stress and anxiety, I tried out an anti-stress coloring page on my phone. I couldn't get the color to evenly fill inside the lines and it stressed me out even more, to the point where I started crying at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 132

You deserved it 3 768

AITA?

By briscoe - 29/09/2015 02:48 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was on the train next to an elderly woman. When I told her it was my stop, she turned her knees towards the aisle, and I, thinking that she was letting me go by, began to edge past. She screamed, "DON'T PUSH ME!" and the whole train turned to look. I was thus the asshole pushing the old lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 121

You deserved it 1 688

Threatening

By supersplatoon - 08/09/2015 23:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 076

You deserved it 2 705

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 24/08/2015 19:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror, and she quickly excused herself. She was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 566

You deserved it 2 532

Chill out

By HURP - 17/06/2015 15:41 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 098

You deserved it 13 161

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

The Top

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me showering in the dark. When he asked why, I just told him it’s more relaxing for me. Truth is, after losing 120 lbs, I’m so disgusted by the look of my sagging skin that I can’t bear to see myself naked anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 880

You deserved it 362

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 938

You deserved it 3 650

Today, a friend was trying to show me memes on her phone when I noticed she had a few tabs open. I told her she was draining her battery and should close them. She opened them. Two were sex toy store pages. She was so embarrassed that she kicked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 488

Today, I had the most amazing lesbian sex of my life with this girl I had been crushing on for so long. Today is also the day I became practically homeless, courtesy of my parents, who apparently never heard of knocking before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 346

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 205

You deserved it 3 021

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 3 844