Animals: Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket....

By Cathy - 17/01/2012 00:33 - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 790

You deserved it 3 429

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Same thing different taste

By katams - 26/02/2012 12:28 - United States

Today, I was going for a walk and I kept smelling pee wherever I went. After about an hour, I finally figured out that the smell was me. My dog had peed on my sweatshirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 789

You deserved it 5 303

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 269

Pantie thief

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 215

Warming it up

By Erin - 02/01/2021 20:01

Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 417

You deserved it 394

Tidy your room

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 20:03

Today, I woke up and stepped on a wet jacket. After smelling what it was, it turns out the cat had peed all over my laundry, especially the waterproof jacket, and after attempting to clean it up, it dripped everywhere and the entire apartment now smells like cat piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 447

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 441

You deserved it 4 844

By Never Again - 09/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Riverhead

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 345

You deserved it 4 303

Stinky

By mickymoose1 - 19/07/2020 02:02

Today, my dog decided to play with a skunk. Today is also the day I figured out that no matter how much you wash everything that's come in contact with the smell, it will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 148

By jlujan00 - 18/11/2015 23:40 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 212

You deserved it 2 911

antart3 18

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:03

I hope you will keep their litter :)

tmd4L 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:07

Doggy style.

Comments

antart3 18

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:03

I hope you will keep their litter :)

jonriise18 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:15

What!?

xSonic 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:20

That'd be a scary ass creature man!

Pentium_4 27

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:20

even when you neuter them they still do that lol

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:23

18- Coated dogs? Aw shyt boys! Run fer duh hills!

Pentium_4 27

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:26

or at least attempt to

x_KL_x 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:33

21 - Jackrussles?

girl112891 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:59

It's his favorite jacket too OP.

Jonkbaby 22

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:50

did you buy your jacket from, Cruella Deville?

freakinglaugher 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:15

Why can't you just except their love, OP?!

KeyboardWarrior 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:58

Don't you mean accept?

theladyofepic 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 14:14

Apparently it's also the dog's favorite jacket.

freakinglaugher 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 22:13

Dang, I messed that one up pretty bad. Really need to stop this wake up and comment thing.

maddyyghee 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:04

Oh yuck :/

DrMime 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:28

Better than your dog getting violently intimate with your leg. Seriously, he penetrated! But now my leg is pregnant and I'm carrying our love child

DrMime 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:35

....Or it's a horrible cyst...

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:29

Pop it, and put it on YouTube.

DrMime 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:33

I've never given birth on camera before!!! Has there ever been a birth where it's just placenta? Because that's how this would end...

ScaughtieHolden 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:47

What the **** is the matter with you..

ljbgamer 1

Tuesday 17 January 2012 14:23

Sell it on eBay

Complaining 13

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:06

Perhaps you should give your dog your coat then. Aside from that, got any funny remarks about the coat lately?

CalCommando 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:30

"Your coat smells very... unique."

stickyvikky285 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:06

That's gross ..

Fiskerz 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:48

He just really likes you and the jacket reminds him of you!

GoW_Chick 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:40

Is that gross STICKY Vikky? I mean you might be the expert on this subject...

tmd4L 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:07

Doggy style.

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:12

Took the words right out of my mouth.

cheesiestcake 1

Wednesday 25 January 2012 1:37

Ikr

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:07

At least it's warm when you need it?

GoW_Chick 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:34

Nothing beats putting on a warm, sticky, slighty salty smelling jacket on a chilly winter morning.

shazza26 1

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:10

If she was in australia, it would be worse becaus it's summer

CaptainCola 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:09

It's the dog's favorite jacket too

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:09

Your dog needs a ducky..

rogue2888 4

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:12

Cut it's rocks out lol

RawrzIIshScareh 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:13

That's smexii. Maybe you should get him a girlfriend.

death_dolphin24 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 3:38

You mean a bitch?

MrMustangg 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:14

I guess it's your dogs favourite jacket too

YDIomg 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 16:38

My cat did that with an old stuffy I had when I was younger, but after we got him fixed he stopped.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers

The Top

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 063

You deserved it 8 155

The Top

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 175

You deserved it 3 999

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 691

You deserved it 12 951

Today, I managed to "permanently and irrevocably" damage my spine. How? By bending down and picking up a piece of paper. According to my doctor, essentially I need to, "bend over like a stripper if I want to pick something up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 394

You deserved it 142

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 585

You deserved it 9 206

Today, a policeman and I confronted my psychotic neighbor, who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 706

You deserved it 2 770

Today, during a family gathering, my mom, grandmother, and aunts started talking about an erotic novel they're all reading on Amazon. My cousin asked for the writer's name and I heard my pseudonym in response. My entire family is reading my horribly-written porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 498

You deserved it 1 521

Same thing different taste

Good boy

Pantie thief

Warming it up

Tidy your room

Stinky

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