Parenting and Health: #1 Mom

#1 Mom

By Eden - 14/07/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 958

You deserved it 3 171

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Same thing different taste

Sore loser

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I have an excruciatingly sore throat due to chronic canker sores around my uvula. Every bite of food I swallow brings tears to my eyes. I had enough of dad calling me a wimp at dinner over it and shoved my food onto his plate. He's now faking allergies to food we've had for years, just to take the piss out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 105

Call CPS!

By leovaldez - 22/06/2020 20:08

Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 123

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 346

You deserved it 4 961

By Medfail - 20/06/2016 07:13 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 661

You deserved it 13 713

By Merlin - 17/04/2012 17:37 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 675

You deserved it 2 358

Man up

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was the flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 681

You deserved it 3 228

By madi - 15/04/2011 19:13 - United States

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 810

You deserved it 3 157

By lk07 - 23/04/2019 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 398

By johnny121 - 01/01/2010 19:14 - France

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 048

You deserved it 2 662

Pink eye, white throat

By Stephanie Kugelman - 27/04/2022 22:00

Today, I'd finally had enough of feeling awful and went to urgent care. As it turns out, the reason my throat was sore was because I have a sinus infection. The doctor explained my nose is producing pus, and that's what I'm swallowing and coughing up. Yuck. I also have pink eye on top of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 160

Treffersonn 0

Friday 15 July 2011 1:23

Call 911 genius

Mirorbo 26

Friday 15 July 2011 1:24

Just lie so you can get the medical attention! Groundation is a lot nicer than possible death from not being able to breathe!

Comments

superJohnny 0

Friday 15 July 2011 2:09

hahaha that sucks FYL

MyAssIsCute 5

Friday 15 July 2011 23:04

I love ur pic ... makes me feel guilty :o

kdz 0

Friday 15 July 2011 2:11

super fake. how are you gonna write on fml but not call 911 or just go to the hospital by yourself. how old are you already? cut the umbilical cord

redbluegreen 40

Friday 15 July 2011 2:16

You do realise all FMLs start with "Today" and are phrased in the present sense, right? It doesn't necessarily mean it happened today.

Buzz3070 3

Friday 15 July 2011 2:16

Get a friend or neighbor to drive you to the hospital, then inform them that your mother refused to take you because of some crackpot theory she concocted.

mruizk9 7

Friday 15 July 2011 2:19

atleast they still do it lol

mrredkneck 2

Friday 15 July 2011 2:21

just tell her you kissed someone it ain't hard

5t3ff1k4h 44

Friday 15 July 2011 2:29

So then "fess up" just to get her to take you. You know she's wrong, and if your refusal to give up your pride to get help is the only thing getting in your way, suck it up and deal with it. If you know you're right, that's all that matters.

perdix 29

Friday 15 July 2011 2:31

Just take the fall and admit that you kissed someone! That's better than telling the truth that you were sucking balls and you got a little too vigorous, and now there's some poor bastard out there walking around with an empty scrotum.

slushpup9696 12

Friday 15 July 2011 10:21

There should be a tumblr called Perdix Saves the Day and it should just be screenshots of the FML followed by Perdix's comment.

tacocannon99 5

Saturday 30 July 2011 5:04

I'm the empty scrotum. it's weird not carrying 40 pound testis in my clammy "dime sacks." I got kicked from the circus! thanks OP! *furiously jabs a Winchester blade into my pleading scrotum and saw the blade at my raw, meaty scrotum*