Intimacy: A for effort - FML

A for effort

By NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 507

You deserved it 6 490

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Same thing different taste

You want a piece of me?

By littlepeepboo - 30/01/2018 01:30

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 119

You deserved it 447

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 17:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 761

You deserved it 62 035

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 1 795

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 311

You deserved it 5 111

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

By Anonymous - 18/05/2020 17:00

Spicy

Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 310

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 888

You deserved it 4 984

Fight Club for Dummies

By Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 278

He's got the moves

By beccav23 - 25/10/2011 16:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 391

You deserved it 7 493

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 422

You deserved it 26 486

By Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 169

You deserved it 2 927

Next

Top comments

U_idiot 1

Monday 23 November 2009 9:13

FYL because your boyfriend accidentally bit your leg? I wouldn't want to be around when some terrible/FML worthy actually happens to you.

DameGreyWulf 0

Monday 23 November 2009 8:54

Ah well? A little nibble doesn't hurt so bad. At least he tried.

Comments

darkmis1 17

Monday 23 November 2009 17:33

kinky

Grangoire 0

Monday 23 November 2009 18:16

omg your life is SO ******. the horror

omghehehe 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 5:15

:D

anonymous69_fml 0

Monday 23 November 2009 19:08

I hear you girls like being bitten and stalked...

ScaryyMary 14

Monday 23 November 2009 22:33

You're obviously Team Jacob. Otherwise, you'd be thrilled that your boyfriend was up to sexy fictional vampire standards.

happyhak 5

Monday 23 November 2009 23:14

YDI it for letting him bite ur leg

nissanman_fml 16

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:11

This is not an FML.

EbonyGoddess 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 2:12

Omg this is NOT FML. My bf and I like to bite eachother. Its so fun. Makes my back tingle! yummmy. Its like little nibbles of pain! ouch mnnnn ouch oooo papi! LMAO yall

omghehehe 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 5:17

LOL. Can you make that sound again? :D

h0mieg2 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 3:49

boo hoo

tguillaud550 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 6:48

who cares?!

how_to_implode 17

Thursday 26 November 2009 7:13

Hey, at least he made the effort.

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 072

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 2 483

The Top

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 085

You deserved it 4 313

Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 150

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 106

You deserved it 8 667

Today, I got excited because my husband will be away for 5 days, which means I'll be able to deep clean the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 943

You deserved it 2 150

Today, I was feeling motivated enough to try longboarding again after a long stint of being a couch potato. Not even 10 minutes into cruising down the road, my board catches on a rock. Now I've got a sprained wrist and two inches of road rash on my right arm. So much for getting a little exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 170

Today, I received two withdrawal grades in school for dropping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did so, and he then said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 194

You deserved it 4 694