Intimacy and Health: You want a piece of me? - FML

You want a piece of me?

By littlepeepboo - 30/01/2018 01:30

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 119

You deserved it 447

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Same thing different taste

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 1 795

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 312

You deserved it 5 111

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 443

You deserved it 9 333

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 17:15 - Estonia

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 590

You deserved it 10 483

By bitten - 15/05/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 081

You deserved it 2 795

By coop42 - 15/01/2014 19:22 - United States - Hortonville

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 111

You deserved it 6 077

By kaylashay2k13 - 17/05/2016 14:18 - United States - Mission

Today, my boyfriend was trying to tackle me to the bed when we heard a loud pop. The pop turned out to be him breaking my pinky finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 036

You deserved it 1 106

By jacobscrackers - 01/08/2010 18:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 915

You deserved it 5 883

Thirst trap

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 07:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 912

You deserved it 4 278

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 613

You deserved it 844

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 30 January 2018 1:39

You said “Eat me” and he took you literally?

Mega Firebeast 8

Tuesday 30 January 2018 2:43

what the ****

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 30 January 2018 1:39

You said “Eat me” and he took you literally?

Mega Firebeast 8

Tuesday 30 January 2018 2:43

what the ****

Glowworm56 26

Tuesday 30 January 2018 3:11

The emergency room must have has a field day with this one!

crims0nangel 16

Tuesday 30 January 2018 14:00

On this episode of Sex Sent Me to the ER...

leeloo7 22

Tuesday 30 January 2018 3:52

Awch!!! wtf

boopingsnoot 24

Tuesday 30 January 2018 4:55

At least it wasn't your labia

carlosATX 8

Tuesday 30 January 2018 8:16

Is your boyfriend a shark?

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 30 January 2018 9:37

I love it when women smell so delicious I cannot help myself but to take a bite.

dwight7476 11

Tuesday 30 January 2018 20:09

He needs to take his time haste make waste

pjsr 32

Tuesday 30 January 2018 20:17

Or lunch

5th_point_of_contact 8

Wednesday 31 January 2018 5:32

Just curious. Does this guy have a large tag on him somewhere? Something that could look like a beacon? Possibly for tracking predators like um I dunno a shark?

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 31 January 2018 20:42

How sharp are his teeth that he could do that? Ouch!

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my wife and I can’t decide if we should force my stepson to wait when he rudely demands something, in the hope he’ll learn patience and some manners, or just give him what he wants so he’ll go away and stop making us miserable. He’s 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 1 293

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 651

The Top

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 209

Today, despite the fact that we are well off and desperate to be parents, my sister refuses to let us adopt her unborn baby, and intends to “raise him on her own.” We earn twice what she does and have been trying to conceive or adopt for 7 years, and she doesn’t even have a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 2 477

Today, I watched the new Fallout series, which was pretty good… except for the fact that Ella Purnell looks a lot like my ex. Now it’s 6 a.m., hours before I have to wake up, and I can't keep myself from crying. I broke up with this girl for a number of reasons which seem somewhat valid now, but I regret it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 313

Today, I finally bought a car, after saving up for a year. My dealer had told me it was a good buy, so I snapped it up then and there. On the way home, the rear axle practically fell out of the car due to frame rot. My dealer wants to buy the car back at half the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 080

You deserved it 30 273

Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 773

You deserved it 1 824

Today, in basketball practice my coach was putting is in teams to run drills. He points to me and says, "You, go babysit my son by the stage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 148

You deserved it 3 037