Work, Awkward and Dating: Alexa, play "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode

Alexa, play "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode

By is there a environmental scientist in the house? - 05/03/2013 08:48 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 589

You deserved it 76 705

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 920

You deserved it 3 238

Small world

By CivE - 25/01/2010 13:32 - United States

Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 011

You deserved it 38 284

One of those people

By B-Ry - 25/11/2017 01:30

Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 517

You deserved it 349

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 194

Recycling at its finest

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 16:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 239

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 297

You deserved it 3 587

Dunning-Kruger effect

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 096

Opposites attract

By forest killer girl - 14/09/2017 16:00

Today, I went out with a friendly guy who's very passionate about the environment and everything was going fine until he asked about my job. I work as a clerk in a plantation company. He went from Mr. Daydream to Mr. Scary because the company I work for is destroying the forest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 249

You deserved it 621

By outofluckdude - 01/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 771

You deserved it 3 668

High hopes

By mywillyisdisappointed - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went out with a girl I've been dating. I dropped her off and she finally asked me if I wanted to come in. When I did, she asked me to change a light bulb in her kitchen, and then promptly sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 147

You deserved it 3 528

vadim14 3

Tuesday 5 March 2013 16:04

Dumbass

feldco1 17

Tuesday 5 March 2013 16:04

Hmm interesting coincidence but ydi for lying.

Comments

Minim_fml 3

Tuesday 5 March 2013 17:58

I may be wrong, but I don't think lying helps with a relationship.

betty9 5

Tuesday 5 March 2013 18:12

I don't understand why people do that... if you hope to be with the person you're lying to, they're going to have to find out... it's not like you can lie forever about your job. lol way to go, dumbass.

outoftown 26

Tuesday 5 March 2013 18:18

Let me guess: You've been an environmental engineer, aka janitor? Don't you know professions can be checked online, ala LinkedIn? You're not just a liar, but a dumbass one.

limitedition 25

Tuesday 5 March 2013 18:20

How could have that worked out in your favor? You need to mature some before you date again.

TiggityTony 5

Tuesday 5 March 2013 18:23

Liar, liar, plants for hire.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 5 March 2013 18:42

Or Keith Stone

183933 6

Tuesday 5 March 2013 18:49

You did her a great service... Most girls have to spend time and be completely invested before they realize the guy they are with is a moron and move on to bigger and better things. You saved her the trouble... Good for you!

lashes_to_ashes 14

Tuesday 5 March 2013 19:03

That's why you're always taught not to lie. The truth is always better. You totally deserved it.

crob730 3

Tuesday 5 March 2013 19:05

If you do stuff like this when trying to impress... You're obviously a douche.

frethelt 3

Tuesday 5 March 2013 19:12

I know quite a few people who lie about thier jobs.. kinda.. though they dont outright lie they just dont correct the womens assumption, your in air force someone who knows nothing about the airforce assums your a pilot, you get laid, when she finds out they arnt pilots, they just tell her they never said they were, and they didnt lie atol