Love, Weird and Animals: Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 686

You deserved it 9 289

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Same thing different taste

By LC - 23/01/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 833

You deserved it 7 159

By HM - 16/04/2015 13:10 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 4 522

By catastrophy - 19/11/2016 09:20

Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 846

You deserved it 1 333

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 40 950

By lessinterestingthanadog - 08/11/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 3 813

You OK, hun?

By Anonymous - 25/11/2016 08:43

Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 265

You deserved it 1 049

By caseyj - 25/03/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 147

You deserved it 4 764

By crazy cat lady - 03/11/2016 19:31 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 526

You deserved it 874

No one disturbs the masters

By Anonymous - 01/08/2015 04:10 - United States - Erie

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 353

You deserved it 3 232

By no more mr nice guy - 27/12/2016 07:32

Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 099

You deserved it 970

Failzoid 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:06

Dude. You should have joined them in the basket. Enough room for twooo ;3

Focnr 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 13:43

SPARTA

Comments

plexico 3

Friday 9 October 2009 23:23

So he talks to you online when there is not an interesting cat around. It must suck to be his second-favorite kind of pussy.

SuperCarly94 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:48

AHAHA. Omg. You just made my whole entire life. But yeah. that sucks for her

lacho95 4

Saturday 10 October 2009 2:14

ZING!!

OMGoriginality 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:24

Call the ASPCA on him! Or your local pound...that scrub.

Sapphy 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:28

lol I find this very cute for some reason.

Zer0de 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:31

I see nothing wrong with him.

zibby_86 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:34

I don't even see why this is an FML, he might be shy, or maybe he just likes animals. Animals are usually nicer than humans anyway. I'd say keep him! Only if you think this is really an FML... you probably don't deserve him.

Intoxicunt 5

Friday 9 October 2009 23:36

Doggy style! I suggest getting some peanut butter......

nokillnobeepbeep 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:39

Lol I couldn't help but think of the family guy episode.

plexico 3

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:50

I was thinking orgy butter.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:59

Orgy butter? That's not butter, Plexi.

plexico 3

Saturday 10 October 2009 7:26

But for doggy-style it can be very useful, especially if one's aim and knowledge of anatomy is not good.

nomadxx7 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:39

Eh, sounds like the kid is shy. Likes you if he's talking to you online but not quite the go-getter in person. Pretty sure he felt out of place and felt more comfortable being a wallflower than actually conversing. Plus the curl up in the dog bed was probably because he didn't want to impose and have you find a place for him. Hell talk to him about it online and I'm sure you'll find out that's more or less the reason for his actions.

lahp 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:41

this guy sounds like what i used to be like (although dog basket hmm..maybe he got drunk? ) ... he is a real out there person online... but in person he is quite shy... just get him out of his shell and he will be a party animal :D