All or nothing - FML

All or nothing

By FLkiki - 24/07/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I found out I didn’t get a job because I'd flashed the owner whilst drunk. Guess my tits weren’t better than my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 2 148

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/06/2011 13:13 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 041

You deserved it 3 257

Not cool

By ash203 - 12/12/2009 21:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss's 13-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 308

You deserved it 50 364

Understandable

By Anonymous - 28/05/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that the dream in which I drunkenly phoned my boss and called him a "fat useless piece of shit" actually did happen. I woke up to 10 missed calls and 5 angry texts stating I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 3 244

The day after

By last night king - 28/05/2019 18:09

Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 3 007

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 428

You deserved it 21 604

Boozing on the job

By paulcorrea95 - 21/09/2019 06:07 - United States

Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 194

Don't drink and letch

By GonnaGetFired - 31/03/2010 00:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 40 377

Double take

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 02:00

Today, I walked into a job interview, then turned round and walked back out again. The interviewer was a one-night stand that ended very badly months ago, and she remembered me. I could see in her face the interview was pointless, so instead of grovelling I went to the pub to drown my sorrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 537

By miewann - 03/03/2015 19:06 - United States - Mount Holly

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 194

You deserved it 2 568

By sdk2010 - 06/03/2012 17:05 - Canada

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brewmaster at a beer company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 486

You deserved it 2 265

Next

Top comments

Roxy Rousseau 11

Friday 24 July 2020 20:41

He probably didn’t wanna risk getting hit with a sexual misconduct charge or giving you “special treatment should other employees find out.

samomaha 17

Friday 24 July 2020 22:13

Behavior like flashing prevents you from getting jobs. It would be wise to make a choice at this point. And Roxy is right. He didn't want problems in the office.

Comments

Roxy Rousseau 11

Friday 24 July 2020 20:41

He probably didn’t wanna risk getting hit with a sexual misconduct charge or giving you “special treatment should other employees find out.

samomaha 17

Friday 24 July 2020 22:13

Behavior like flashing prevents you from getting jobs. It would be wise to make a choice at this point. And Roxy is right. He didn't want problems in the office.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 24 July 2020 22:49

He realizes there's a risk in sexual harassment. After seeing the goods, he decided it's not worth it.

bloopaloop 27

Saturday 25 July 2020 1:37

Does your stomach stick out farther than your ****?

Paul Rushing 21

Saturday 25 July 2020 3:42

You probably weren’t hired because of probable alcohol sbuse

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 25 July 2020 6:28

Don't put yourself down! I bet you have great ****! I mean... alcohol has made fools of us all. Cut down, dust yourself off, and try your luck elsewhere.

Jonkbaby 22

Monday 27 July 2020 17:05

What in the world happened at that interview??!?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 81

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 56

The Top

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 579

You deserved it 2 061

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 986

You deserved it 3 105

Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 836

You deserved it 5 418

Today, it should have been my day off from work because I did a lot of night shifts. At 6 a.m., my boss called told me that my day off was canceled, because a coworker is ill. Now I'm sitting here on a night shift with a pinched nerve in my shoulder and a lot of pain, just because I stretched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 79

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 174

You deserved it 8 920

Today, my 20 year-old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 909

You deserved it 5 802