Bad aim

By goldengirl - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 652
You deserved it 17 025
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Top comments

revert 1

And you laugh at us guys, wee can aim :)

159 3
RedPillSucks 31

What does being a woman have to do with this? Peeing in a cup may not be rocket science, but it's not easy when you can't aim. Next time, try peeing over/in the toilet and just place the cup in the stream.

125 6

Comments

fanceh 10

silly first timer. you sit on the toilet and hold the cup under you. pshh.

44 0
LiveLaughFML 10

this is the first time you've EVER had to do a urine sample? I've been doing them since i was like 6 years old, lolol.

32 0
enonymous 8

Is it sad that I'm hoping she ended up giving the doctor a stool sample instead?

15 4
LiveLaughFML 10

lol #22. i think so. but seriously, i dont really understand this FML. when you go to a physical, isn't it required for you to pee in a cup? also, since you're a lady, shouldn't you be use to squatting down? like in a school or public bathroom, restaurant, mall, ect ect..

13 3
melchibr_fml 0

that's what I call a piss poor performance!

25 3
JurassicHole 5

Sounds like a series of unfortunate events to me haha.

2 7
Dalliance 4

The interesting part is that the OP felt like she had to specify that the pee was her own -- twice.

22 0
BagleHead 6

I feel like op was doing a handstand or something while trying to give a urine sample.

17 0
Iheartfunny 1

OP you need to practice.I remember when I was a young rookie like you.

1 1
TheCylonmaster 3

I've had to give a urine sample before. Into an empty gallon of milk and dump it around our neighborhood pond so predators won't go and try to eat our ducks we put in the pond.

8 1
sgtbobbyboy 0

More like epic fail!

2 1
mypineapple 14

I think this may be the only adequate thing to say now.

0 0
revert 1

And you laugh at us guys, wee can aim :)

159 3
overthelimit 3

how is this even possible? >:O

6 3
IndigoAcrylic 9

You can even draw pictures on the pavement if you are super talented.

6 1
TraceCase_ 19

Men, I can't help but wonder though, even with your superb aim, it's a more narrow stream therefore directed more forcefully at your target. Is there a greater chance for splash back out of the cup onto your hand?

5 11
marud 7

Probably, but it is all about timing it perfectly. I've only done it once and I had never been so unsure/unknowing before which made it kinda fail.

5 0
LilTiki559 13

103, it depends on how much pressure you put into. We can control the pressure, thus allowing us to control the speed of flow as well. .pretty Awesome(: . ha ha.

5 1
BelleBelle_fml 11

Maybe for you...

36 6
xlord 27

If you think that's hard try pissing with a boner!

71 5
Mikonam_fml 8

29, why would you have a boner at the doctor's?

40 7
NoobHat 6

40 - Hot doctor/nurse?

27 3
SemperFi_23 6

40 - Maybe said person is small, so they create an erection as an illusion for their small size

9 30
cptmorgan6 8

Pissing with a boner is like putting your thumb on the opening of a hose and having the water go ten different directions.

54 2
zombiekitten87 12

Not if you have more than three brain cells

7 2
Iamaninchworm 0

56 - I have never heard somebody describe it more clearly. I have actually honed my boner skills to the point I can hit any target... < That's pride bitches

16 1
Spenerish 0

Put the cup against ur urethra?

14 0
FlurffyPupQueen 7

Dear girls, you're not suppose to friggin stand when you pee in a cup. You simply sit on the toilet, hold the cup under and pee. Sincerely, a girl who doesn't even miss.

19 3
allard 14

At least your doctors name wasn't "Bird Dog".

84 8
BellaBelle_fml 23

Or EpicMayonnaise

7 17
RedPillSucks 31

What does being a woman have to do with this? Peeing in a cup may not be rocket science, but it's not easy when you can't aim. Next time, try peeing over/in the toilet and just place the cup in the stream.

125 6
PrestonG95 7

Haha the "stream".

13 6
ugottaluvme 0

Lol 79 u just made my day.

1 1
HomeAl0ne 20

Lucky OP wasn't in a public toilet when this happened. The streams might have crossed.

1 2
ashesofempires04 7

Practice makes perfect. Most guys don't care enough though.

4 4
bizarre_ftw 21

I read your description and saw your picture, now I'm wondering if the two are related?

21 1
sunlovinmama 1

Ha! Girls don't "aim" they pee and just stick a cup under. Just the thought of a womans anatomy of the urethra makes this very obvious. You fail big time. Hope you didn't injure yourself manhandling your pussy lips in an attempt to pee in a cup since doing so is the only way to direct the flow of a tiny hole right above the ****** that doesn't usually bulge enough to grab hold of in itself. All the nurses are now laughing at you

63 15
xNephilim 18

Eh, I know we typically don't "aim" but there are factors affecting which direction the stream goes. I remember the first time I shaved... I almost peed all over myself because the direction of my pee had changed. Or if I sit awkwardly, it has the same effect.

3 2
lil_ham1644 29

What does shaving have to do with the direction you pee?

3 1