Animals, Dogs and Work: Bad boy - FML

Bad boy

By MikeIsMaster - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 585

You deserved it 5 359

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Snappy

By DamnDogs - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 743

You deserved it 5 732

Running late

By SMV - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 251

You deserved it 6 095

By uninvited - 04/02/2016 15:16 - United States - Boston

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 261

You deserved it 1 749

Team building

By Incompetent - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 214

You deserved it 1 398

Taking the piss

By Mug - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 252

You deserved it 2 233

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 578

You deserved it 4 949

Early warning

By Hreyes - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 018

You deserved it 2 228

By bigscarypuppy - 22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 604

You deserved it 3 256

Stoner in disguise

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rowlett

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 432

You deserved it 2 930

By ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 153

You deserved it 371

Next

Top comments

RJB 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 16:07

I bet the dog read your mind about what you wanted to do to him..dont lie...

yessirfosho 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 19:38

The dog or the boss?

Comments

daneeyoll 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:22

eeeeeeeenglish

monnanon 13

Wednesday 17 February 2010 11:02

well said, my bf's family have always had german sheperds and they have never been bitten neither has the dog bitten any other person or threatened another dog. They even get on well with the cats lol

Talory 2

Thursday 18 February 2010 5:44

Train. Your. Dog. Or put it into another room, or crate it, while company is there. I sincerely doubt that your dog has previously shown no aggresssion and arbitrarily decided that the one person that he's going to bite in his life will be your boss.

trackrunner00008 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 7:53

lol supper. gay

lorchan 0

Friday 19 February 2010 1:44

My German Shepard once bit the pool boy. The pool boy always charges us for stuff he doesn't do (adjusting chemicals, vacuming, etc.). Dogs are great judges of character. And if it is an agressive dog, it's usually because of the owner, you guys know that, right?

darlene87 0

Friday 19 February 2010 12:15

somebody wanted a promotion... too bad your dog ruined it

9010649 3

Friday 19 February 2010 19:00

German shepards are highly protective of their masters and I'd not teamed properly they will defend by biting...

9010649 3

Friday 19 February 2010 19:02

"if not trained properly" damn auto correct

zoe768532 1

Sunday 1 January 2012 12:38

This is the worst FML ever.

milady666 2

Sunday 20 May 2012 11:37

Why is there ways a bunch of dog experts commenting on this stuff? Shut the **** up.

4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

The Top

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 369

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. Things were going well, the lady was about to offer me the job, but then I got the hiccups. She immediately changed her tone and said, “Yeah, I think we’re done here. Next time, don’t show up to a job interview drunk.” I had no alcohol in my system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 98

Today, my state decriminalized small amounts of every hard drug you can name. Heroin, LSD, cocaine, you name it. I'm a recovering addict. I moved to Oregon to get away from the big city and drugs and take in nature. No I didn't. I knew this would happen. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 1 158

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 69

Today, my mother told me that my dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth, her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 697

You deserved it 1 794

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 726

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I finally got the courage to ask my best friend to go on a date with me. She assumed I meant a double date and squealed, "Who's the lucky guy?!" She thought I was her gay best friend for the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 900

You deserved it 750