Animals, Dogs and Work: Bad boy - FML

Bad boy

By MikeIsMaster - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 584

You deserved it 5 359

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Snappy

By DamnDogs - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 743

You deserved it 5 732

Running late

By SMV - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 251

You deserved it 6 095

By uninvited - 04/02/2016 15:16 - United States - Boston

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 261

You deserved it 1 749

Team building

By Incompetent - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 214

You deserved it 1 398

Taking the piss

By Mug - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 252

You deserved it 2 233

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 578

You deserved it 4 949

Early warning

By Hreyes - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 018

You deserved it 2 228

By bigscarypuppy - 22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 604

You deserved it 3 256

Stoner in disguise

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rowlett

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 432

You deserved it 2 930

By ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 153

You deserved it 371

Next

Top comments

RJB 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 16:07

I bet the dog read your mind about what you wanted to do to him..dont lie...

yessirfosho 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 19:38

The dog or the boss?

Comments

perdix 29

Tuesday 16 February 2010 18:39

When you tell a dog you're having the boss for supper, they think you mean it literally. Only humans can recognize figures of speech. Even then, some stupid humans can't.

bleedinginside 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 18:39

the comments say that ur all animals and make decisions like putting the dog down that breed protects his family and would die for his family

lky830 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 18:46

OBIDIENCE TRAINING. And put the dog up while you are having dinner with an important guest. strangers don't want your dog staring at them and/or biting them when they are trying to eat. inappropriate and ydi

J4cks0n 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 18:48

So you will probably loose your job now...

pinkandblaqk15 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 18:51

oh hey an fml the finally isn't way out there.... hmmm....

perdix 29

Tuesday 16 February 2010 19:09

I hope your dog didn't bite the part of the boss's ass that you habitually kiss.

DogmaT_fml 4

Tuesday 16 February 2010 19:12

i would say more than kiss, especially since they 'get on pretty well'

fuster 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 19:17

What were you serving your boss for supper? Franks and beans or twigs and berries? Try peanutbutter next time and remind your dog that it's improper to use teeth.

laxkid19 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 19:19

owww that's gonna hurt in the morning

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Tuesday 16 February 2010 19:22

Sorry, but I'm lol at how this FML is worded. Simple and to the point. Like "Today, I went to the doctor. Everything was going well, until I was diagnosed with cancer."

Tootsiee 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 19:26

OP, you deserve it because I'm sure you know your dog is an asshole, should have ties him up?

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Cars Transportation Poopoo peepee Awkward Dentist Health Shopping My ex Love Cats Animals Job interview Work Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Holidays Family AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Funerals Harassment Relatable Engagement Food Ironic Technology

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 3 931

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 598

You deserved it 349

The Top

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 313

You deserved it 4 517

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me with an Eagles cheerleader. I found out when his dad proudly posted about it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 337

You deserved it 334

Today, I brought my boyfriend of 2 weeks home to meet my mom and she started talking about how she really wants a lot of grand-kids. He called 2 hours later and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 931

You deserved it 7 017

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 316

You deserved it 3 465

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 6 201

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 958

You deserved it 7 474