Bad boy

By Sissy - 06/12/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year-old son started rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly, "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looked at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 284
You deserved it 3 371
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Top comments

null_fml 11

Before reading the last sentence, I assumed he meant a dog. I'm sure everyone around did too. Embarrassing still, but not as bad as it could be.

100 1
glorbnakcs 0

Solution: Mention to those around you that Simon is your dog. Not really a big deal.

61 1

Comments

The_Nothing 0

You deserve the awkward looks for letting your dog hump him.

11 3
LilaBear 1

how does a 3 year old know the term 'humping'?? I'm kinda leaning towards YDI if that's the sort of stuff you're teaching your kid.

13 4
Moemoemoe_fml 0

"Humping" is not a vulgar or sexual only term. Get your heads out of your butts already! Even for a kid there's nothing wrong with that term. It relates to the movement, NOT to penetration.

1 9
Bstaut 8

i think I've seen this comment at least 4 times...

10 0
Bstaut 8

i mean moemoemoe's not the other one just FYI. F*** ANTI FLOOD...

2 1
Yapanesedidwhat 0

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

3 6
jchansfan 0

I don't get how a three-year-old would know the definition of humping. I just can't really picture this as realistic. Maybe like five or six, even then they really shoukln't be using words like that... when I was five I was taught "Shut Up" was a bad word... XD Still kinda funny, YDI nevertheless though.

11 4
Vedder 0

Young kids can pick up words from older kids. They're walking Record buttons. I called my sister a **** when I was 4 (she's older than me by 7 years). I didn't know what it meant but I knew it was something bad, and I picked it up from listening to her and her friends talk.

1 4
Moemoemoe_fml 0

"Humping" is not a vulgar or sexual only term. Get your heads out of your butts already! Even for a kid there's nothing wrong with that term. It relates to the movement, NOT to penetration.

2 12
TheDarkCynder 2

I was visiting my 4-year old cousin a few days ago and she was talking about sex.

0 3
danaavery 5

Why are you so obsessed with the definition of humping, moemoemoe? I've seen your same comment about 5 times now...

8 0
pinkkloverr 0

haha i seriously knew what humping meant BEFORE i was 6 years old (i don't think i was 3 years old though)... i'll just leave it at that... but seriously that must've sucked and been really embarrassing. especially if they were all thinking something inappropriate... but hopefully they knew what your son meant!

1 4
Residence_fml 4

I think the people around you understood that he meant a dog. I really hope you have little dog kind or else I'm sorry but in my opinion you shouldn't let your dog near such a young child especially not when it thinks it's ok to hump the child, if the dog might bite him he could get seriously injured (young children don't know when they are hurting the dog in their game, the dog does).

5 4
janise 2

If a human can't comprehend when they are injuring another how can you expect a dog to know? Dogs react mostly out of instinct unless they are trained to attack. They don't go through a thought process of 'If I bite Billy he'll get hurt'. They just react on instinct.

5 0
Skull_300 0

Hey Sissy, Simon wants to play "hide the bone" also...

5 0
iFruit 0

I would have said really loudly 'Yes, our Simon is a crazy DOG isnt he?'

5 0
TheHo 0

im pretty sure that would have made it worse XD

3 1
Ketsuhime 0

Hmmm....I thought at first you meant Simon the chipmunk...

1 5
pickle2727 0

My son is 3 too and he doesn't know the word hump. You should have said "Son, he's a dog, and you shouldn't do that." Another reason not to own a mammal pet. Next up he'll be taking after the cat, lifting his leg, and licking.

2 8