Intimacy: Bad start

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Bad start

By fuck but no fuck - 02/08/2013 19:44 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 145

You deserved it 28 462

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 765

You deserved it 6 001

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 426

You deserved it 6 035

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 437

You deserved it 26 512

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 064

You deserved it 6 095

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 113

You deserved it 6 458

By angelisa - 21/11/2015 14:54 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 750

You deserved it 3 935

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 338

Nope

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 850

You deserved it 6 673

Choking hazard

By notsexy - 09/05/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 101

You deserved it 83 418

Lost

By Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 409

You deserved it 6 358

SuperPizzaMan_fml 11

Friday 2 August 2013 23:39

More like FHL. Poor penis.. :(

littlexlune 16

Friday 2 August 2013 23:38

Better luck next time!

Comments

Zehla 7

Saturday 3 August 2013 16:55

Birth Control for the win.

dangousity 21

Saturday 3 August 2013 17:46

Hahahaha

kalbrek009 20

Saturday 3 August 2013 18:01

Did he not know how to put one on, or did you both just think it was sexy for you to do it @ the risk of nicking his penis &/or tearing a hole in the condom with your nails...btw, there are instructions inside the box (if he didn't/doesn't know how to PROPERLY put one on, best if you BOTH read them)...still a FHL not yours, because you can always try again later after he heals...he has to live with the memory of the pain.

Gunguy 11

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:09

Why didn't he just put it on?

hollywoodt1ts 15

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:27

Why are using nails?? You need to roll it onto the penis. Didn't you pay attention in sex-Ed??

BrianaKoala 7

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:51

Aw :( sorry OP, keep practicing on bananas or something so you can get through that embarassing memory next time! :D I'm sure he'll let you try again!

Omniprism 14

Saturday 3 August 2013 21:29

Let him put it on next time. I've found the guys are quicker at it usually. It's good that you wanted to. It's good foreplay but if you have long nails you have to be careful. And maybe practice with a few on a banana. Have fun next time and enjoy yourself.