Work: Bad timing

Bad timing

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 6 083

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 981

You deserved it 25 512

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 15:23

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 825

You deserved it 12 111

By FartMyLife - 11/08/2016 11:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 954

You deserved it 2 165

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 058

You deserved it 2 708

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 20:38 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 883

You deserved it 5 186

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 09:14 - United States - Redlands

Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 171

You deserved it 1 263

By missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 353

You deserved it 2 696

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 837

You deserved it 6 956

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

It's a coup!

By everythingWASperfect - 13/11/2010 14:43 - Canada

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 285

You deserved it 4 376

Nordrag 26

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:25

If I were in that room I'm not sure I would have been able to contain my laughter. Farts in tense situations are always funny.

hkhan24 23

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:31

you were probably not gonna get a promotion anyway if your profits are that poor..

Comments

dcats 13

Saturday 28 March 2015 20:56

I'd rather to be the funny man than the fart boy. Anyway, start job searching

thes7274473 19

Saturday 28 March 2015 21:38

Farts should be considered neutral and unimportant to all situations for this very reason

sabrinawho 15

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:48

Better out than in.

ballbags 14

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:03

Hey it's always better to fart and be ashamed then to hold it and be in pain.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 29 March 2015 3:08

Should have either held it in or tried to sneak it out so that it would be silent.

Awesomeironman2 15

Wednesday 4 November 2015 16:46

But then it might go on longer

shitstorm28 11

Sunday 29 March 2015 18:24

2 reasons to start handing our resumes: 1. your boss just told you your job is a dead end. 2. nobody wants to work for a raging asshole.

middleagednurse 22

Monday 30 March 2015 4:45

I never laughed so hard in my life! Sucks to be you, bro....

phan25 5

Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:14

I am sorry for you. time heals all wounds?

thefallen12 13

Tuesday 7 April 2015 12:28

Never understood why people hate farts so much. The smell? Get over yourself and grow up we all fart and we should fart whenever we half to. Why do we have to sacrifice our comfort so someone doesn't have to hear or smell something? Jeez man