Work: Bad timing

Bad timing

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 6 080

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 981

You deserved it 25 512

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 15:23

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 825

You deserved it 12 111

By FartMyLife - 11/08/2016 11:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 953

You deserved it 2 165

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 058

You deserved it 2 708

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 20:38 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 882

You deserved it 5 185

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 09:14 - United States - Redlands

Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 171

You deserved it 1 263

By missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 353

You deserved it 2 696

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 835

You deserved it 6 955

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

It's a coup!

By everythingWASperfect - 13/11/2010 14:43 - Canada

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 285

You deserved it 4 375

Nordrag 26

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:25

If I were in that room I'm not sure I would have been able to contain my laughter. Farts in tense situations are always funny.

hkhan24 23

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:31

you were probably not gonna get a promotion anyway if your profits are that poor..

Comments

godlife704 9

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:54

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

thejonac 21

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:57

now you're on your way to getting a better job :-) tbh farting is completely natural and you don't need anyone else's recognition if you yourself know you weren't joking about it

cari_cat 19

Saturday 28 March 2015 9:20

If the CEO can talk about a fart for 10 minutes, you know those profits were really bad and he was so pissed.

rvontr88 21

Saturday 28 March 2015 9:32

That's unfortunate. But that's also why they make Beano!

sprints54 19

Saturday 28 March 2015 10:22

I hope it was especially rancid then.

Mmmsushi 14

Saturday 28 March 2015 11:10

If it was a vile fart, shouldn't the smell have tipped him off you weren't trying to be funny? FYL OP.

flyingmind_fml 17

Saturday 28 March 2015 12:20

horrible bosses 3

haynesbrand93 6

Saturday 28 March 2015 13:27

no more chipotle for lunch OP

Axel5238 29

Saturday 28 March 2015 15:42

YDI You could've held it in. Especially, considering the situation or at the very least make up a reason to be excused.You are outside of illness/extreme circumstances expected to be able to control your bodily functions especially in a corporate environment.

archnarquibquib 21

Saturday 28 March 2015 16:53

So, while you are in a corporate office, you can't use the bathroom? Or eat? What about sneeze or cough? Get over yourself. I only know one person in my life who can control his farts and even then it makes him sick to do it.