Work, Anger issues and Public freakouts: Chill out, mate - FML

Chill out, mate

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 21:00

Today, I learned that when you tell an employee with anger issues that he’s had too many sick days due to being hungover, there's a high chance you will be hoisted off the ground by your shirt front and thrown into a drainage ditch full of stagnant water and a dead fox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 95

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Same thing different taste

Reluctant

By bruised - 15/08/2015 15:47 - United States - Jacksonville Beach

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 138

You deserved it 1 959

The day after

By last night king - 28/05/2019 18:09

Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 3 006

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 15:14

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 975

You deserved it 912

Any excuse

By jess - 15/10/2023 04:00

Today, without any warning from my body whatsoever, I had to go to the bathroom at work to puke. I was then fired for being ‘drunk’ at work. I wasn’t drunk, just sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 78

Buckethead

By hi! - 17/09/2021 14:00

Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 141

By sick of life - 23/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 718

You deserved it 3 631

That backfired

By Alexander D. - 14/07/2012 00:48 - United States

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 673

You deserved it 37 227

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 13:21 - Netherlands - Ottersum

Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 893

You deserved it 1 403

Karma

By anon - 10/10/2023 10:00

Today, to get my coworker fired, I spiked his coffee with whiskey. Joke's on me, he's apparently enough of a drunk that it didn't affect him. ThenI dropped the bottle as I was leaving for the day, cut up my ankle, and I'm now suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 2 122

By Anonymous - 29/05/2016 05:05 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 229

You deserved it 1 523

Next

Top comments

TwoBytesCarley 27

Thursday 25 July 2024 22:56

Well the one silver lining is that you have cause to boot him out the door.

Chazzster 28

Thursday 25 July 2024 23:15

Former employee, you definitely have grounds.

Comments

TwoBytesCarley 27

Thursday 25 July 2024 22:56

Well the one silver lining is that you have cause to boot him out the door.

Chazzster 28

Thursday 25 July 2024 23:15

Former employee, you definitely have grounds.

Wadlaen 23

Friday 26 July 2024 1:30

Well, the more you know...

jlc82 9

Friday 26 July 2024 3:48

well hopefully he now has legal issues to go along with those anger issues... if not ydi 100% for putting up with that shit

newbiemalestr8 26

Friday 26 July 2024 12:07

I hope you called the cops just after you fired him

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The Top

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 712

You deserved it 11 210

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 3

The Top

Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 215

You deserved it 12 139

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 006

You deserved it 3 506

Today, I’ve been depressed lately and can’t get motivation to clean. My husband helped me clean, while he continued to complain how I should've done this while I was off work. My depression is from his meth use, dating websites, porn, and lying to me about it for 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 316

Today, after my husband refused to donate to Children in Need because it’s a "waste of money", he came home with swords and shields so he and our son could "wage war in the garden like knights". I wanted to donate £20, the swords and shields cost £500 at least, but I’m the one wasting money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 323

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 222

You deserved it 9 904

Today, I went to a support group for my porn addiction. I was hoping I wouldn't recognize anyone there. The first person I recognized was my dad, and the second was one of my professors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 949

You deserved it 491