Housework, Painful and Miscellaneous: Badass

Badass

By Drom - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, I pushed my spinning clothesline around and walked off like a badass. A loose wire then whipped around the back of my head and caught me in the eye. I'm just so badass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 566

You deserved it 3 845

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 26/07/2021 14:01

Today, I was putting on my sweatpants and accidentally stepped on the elastic drawstring. I moved my foot. The string snapped upward with great speed and hit me in my open eye. My eyeball is not happy with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 119

By Clumsy - 25/04/2009 09:09 - United States

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and bust my head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 556

You deserved it 5 484

Less haste, more speed

By Ouch - 20/05/2012 04:06 - United States - Costa Mesa

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 602

You deserved it 26 780

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 19:29 - United States

Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 026

You deserved it 37 678

By ouch - 12/12/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 944

You deserved it 41 957

Rack go thwack

By Mary Anne - 03/09/2020 09:04 - United States - Denver

Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 454

By locker - 16/09/2010 20:06 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 654

You deserved it 13 758

By SexyQueen0905 - 17/05/2011 13:05

Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 642

You deserved it 12 039

Lumpy

By popeye - 25/02/2010 15:18 - United States

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 105

You deserved it 5 359

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 570

You deserved it 13 141

ThePaperDragon 31

Monday 3 October 2016 1:02

Looks like your clothesline has had enough of being pushed around.

ragnarok1540 39

Monday 3 October 2016 1:21

Just slap on an eyepatch, and you'll be on your way to being a badass. All you need now is a hook hand, peg leg, tricorne hat, and a foul mouthed parrot and you too could be the scourge of ... laundry!!!

Comments

kowsee 22

Monday 3 October 2016 1:01

Oh geez, hope there was no damage. Gotta love those days, when you're just that epicsaurus.

SpaceToast 25

Monday 3 October 2016 1:02

At least the wound will make you look like a badass :)

Brandi_Faith 33

Monday 3 October 2016 5:52

Until she has to tell people what really happened. Better come up with an awesome story. And if there's one thing FML has taught us, it's never try and be cool/badass/hot/sexy etc, cause it never works out. Lol

ThePaperDragon 31

Monday 3 October 2016 1:02

Looks like your clothesline has had enough of being pushed around.

tigeresscrazy 12

Monday 3 October 2016 17:21

Bad pun but still funny lol

Tripartita 44

Monday 3 October 2016 1:14

Oh, wow, it's started off like that iconic scene in action movies where the hero… does their laundry. Wait, maybe you have a different definition of "badass" than me.