Sex, Porn and Intimacy: Billy Crystal like you've never seen him before

Billy Crystal like you've never seen him before

By Anonymous - 05/01/2014 23:48 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 719

You deserved it 9 926

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 21:15 - United States - Chicago

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 453

You deserved it 6 157

By Allabouttheporn - 22/12/2016 00:05

Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 995

You deserved it 3 318

By Broly171 - 01/10/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 316

You deserved it 5 645

By identitychangeplease - 19/09/2012 20:41 - Sweden - Nyn?shamn

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 609

You deserved it 3 696

Not coming out

By HidenSeek - 08/05/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother called them "sinners" claiming they'll "burn in hell twice". Then she said, "God doesn't like gays." I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 050

You deserved it 17 106

Alone time

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 12:12 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 960

You deserved it 3 773

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 785

You deserved it 32 358

By Nessa - 10/05/2017 15:00 - United States - Pomona

Today, my mom got out a camcorder she's had a while, saying that there were tapes of me from when I was a child. The first tape I put in was a porno starring her and her ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 701

You deserved it 551

By monty - 09/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 364

You deserved it 13 428

By Tiana - 29/01/2012 02:34 - Canada

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 355

You deserved it 9 268

starw0lf 31

Monday 6 January 2014 9:37

I can just imagine the "I'll have what she's having" restaurant scene!

ThatOneDrummer 8

Monday 6 January 2014 9:39

You should probably read things more carefully before downloading them.

Comments

pcgwm 13

Monday 6 January 2014 16:30

LMFAO ohgodd

tj4234 35

Monday 6 January 2014 17:54

This happened to my aunt and uncle when they downloaded Pirates of the Caribbean xD.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 6 January 2014 18:24

So, was your mom taking notes for later?

worldclassrager 39

Monday 6 January 2014 18:38

Now you know to double check your titles...

Xotoolyxo 16

Monday 6 January 2014 19:29

Crazy stuff you find on the internet these days

flashback_fml 14

Monday 6 January 2014 20:01

Well.... You should've been able to figure out it was **** much before that

Pussycat86 18

Monday 6 January 2014 20:27

Was it good?

blcksocks 19

Monday 6 January 2014 20:31

Not as good as Armaget-it-on, Inspect-her gadget and Goodwill Humping.

MacItUp 8

Monday 6 January 2014 21:08

Please, I starred in it!

tman1985 9

Monday 6 January 2014 22:33

you're all forgetting grid-iron gangbang

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 3 951

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

The Top

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 145

You deserved it 43 277

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 6 879

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 846

You deserved it 3 117

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 455

You deserved it 51 768

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 722

You deserved it 3 679